On The US Surveillance Operators' Narcissism, Narrative Control, and My Refusal to Be Defined
A Documentation of Their Tactics
The US elite surveillance operators engage in a pattern of behavior designed to control the narrative, to project their own actions onto me, and to make me doubt who I am. They call me "King Saul." They accuse me of worshipping Baal. They claim I have a "pedal fate" they believe is inevitable. They say I am the surveillance operator. They say I am the narcissistic abuser.
These are not random accusations. They are tactics. They are designed to destabilize, to confuse, to make me spend my energy defending myself rather than exposing them.
The "King Saul" Accusation
They call me "King Saul", referring to the Old Testament figure who was tormented by an evil spirit from God after he disobeyed. They imply that I am being tormented by God, that I have hardened my heart, that God has left me. They use this accusation to frame their own abuse as divine judgment.
This is a distortion. The torment I experience is not from God. It is from these operators, who use technology, ritual, and psychological manipulation to create experiences they then attribute to divine punishment.
What They Actually Do
During episodes of sleep, these operators chant things related to Baal worship. They perform violent group rituals using their technologies, what they call "on the other side." They induce physical sensations: intrusive sensations, throat sensations, sensory smells of blood. They project Baal and satanic symbols and imagery during sleep. They chant accusations about the mark of the beast and 666.
This is not divine judgment. This is human abuse, dressed up in religious language to give it a false legitimacy.
The "Pedal Fate" Accusation
They speak of what they call "pedal fate", a term they use to describe what they believe is inevitable. For years, regardless of their subtle rituals and psychological manipulation, they have not succeeded in corrupting my intentions or physiology toward children. I do not harbour any interest or intent toward minors. I never have, and still pray I never will.
Yet they continue their abuse. They try, subtly and subliminally, to influence me to feel emotions that are not mine. They hope that before I die, they will still have subjected me to their rituals, rituals rooted in abuse. They project imagery of children being abused, killed, while they engage in their group activities.
I am being honest about this because the truth needs to be documented. Their fantasies are not reality. Their curses are not inevitable. Their rituals have not worked. They will not work.
On Accusations of Baal Worship
They constantly accuse me of worshipping Baal. This is not true. I do not engage in Baal Peor activities. I do not participate in perverse orgies. I do not have children and sacrifice them. I do not exploit other people's children. I do not engage in the rituals they claim I do.
Sometimes, when they trigger me, I imagine destroying them. I imagine destroying the demonic caricatures, the distorted projections, that they force into my mind. I imagine killing these surveillance operators. I imagine destroying the representations they use to project corrupt lies.
This does not equate to worshipping Baal. It is a response to being targeted by people who are themselves engaged in what the Old Testament would call abominations.
On the Choice Between Two Unwanted Options
I know it is not Christ-like to imagine violence, even against those who harm me. But I also know that I am not doing this to others. I am not targeting other Christians. I am not harming the innocent. I am responding to sustained, technologically-enabled abuse.
I want to be clear about the choice I face. If I do not respond with violence in my imagination, if I do not, at least mentally, destroy the projections they force into my mind, they use that as an opportunity. They try to latch on. They try to anchor me in unwanted physiological responses. They try to groom me into accepting their presence, their rituals, their perversions. They try to normalize what should never be normalized.
This is how groomers operate. They put victims in unright states of mind. They induce unwanted sensations. They try to make the victim feel that these sensations are normal, that they are wanted, that the victim is complicit. The goal is to create confusion, to blur the line between violation and consent.
If I must choose between two undesirable options, allowing them to latch on and induce unwanted responses, or cleansing my conscience by destroying them in my imagination, I choose the latter. It is not a good choice. It is not a pure choice. But it is the choice that keeps me from being complicit in their rituals.
I do not pretend this is righteous. I repent of the anger that leads me there. But I also recognize that the situation I am in is not one I created. The choice between two forms of violation, one imposed on my body, one enacted in my imagination, is not a choice I should have to make. Their abuse is the problem. My response is a symptom of that abuse.
On Narrative Control and Projection
They try to control the narrative. They try to make me seem like the one who is obsessed with them, the one who is unstable, the one who is the abuser. This is what happens in cases of stalking and coercive control: the abuser claims that the victim is the one who is fixated, that the victim is the one who is dangerous, that the victim is the one who needs to be controlled.
I know what is happening. I am not confused about who is doing what to whom.
The Grey Rock Response
The most effective response to this kind of behavior is to become uninteresting—to give them nothing to feed on. This is sometimes called the "grey rock" method. It irks them when you do not give them the reaction they seek. Their entire approach depends on the belief that they matter, that they are powerful, that they can provoke a response.
I do not give them that satisfaction. I care about documenting what they do. I care about protecting myself and my family. I care about holding onto my faith. But they are irrelevant to who I am and what I value.
Their goal is to cancel me, to ruin my life, to make me look unstable, obsessed. This is why they accuse me of being a neo-Nazi, of being obsessed with elite white people, of being a race traitor. They need a narrative where I am the problem, where I am the one who deserves what I receive.
On False Accusations About Race
They want to make it seem like I hate my own race. They want to make it seem like I berate and look down on good Chinese and Asian men. They want to create the impression that I am ashamed of my heritage, that I am obsessed with white people, that I am trying to escape who I am.
This is a lie. I am proud of my heritage. I am proud of my Chinese ancestry. I am proud of my family. I do not look down on the men of my race. I do not berate them. I do not think I am better than them.
The operators are projecting. They are the ones who are obsessed with race. They are the ones who see everything through the lens of lineage, ancestry, and hierarchy. They are the ones who cannot imagine that someone could be proud of their heritage without being hostile to others.
The New Accusation: I Am the Surveillance Operator
Now they claim that I am the US surveillance operator. They say that I am the one doing these things to myself. They want to make me doubt who I am.
I am not the US surveillance operator. I am a Chinese Canadian woman who has been documenting what they do to me. I am not the one surveilling. I am not the one projecting imagery. I am not the one inducing physical sensations. I am not the one engaging in rituals. I am the one who has been targeted.
Their claim is absurd. It is also revealing. They cannot imagine that someone would document their abuse without being part of the system of abuse. They cannot imagine that someone would tell the truth without being the one who is lying. They cannot imagine that I am simply a victim who documents.
The Accusation That I Am the Narcissistic Abuser
Now they also claim that I am the narcissistic abuser. They say that I am the one who is obsessed with them, that I am the one who is controlling, that I am the one who is trying to destroy them.
This is projection. It is the classic tactic of the abuser: accuse the victim of what you yourself are doing. They have spent years surveilling, harassing, tormenting. They have engaged in rituals, projections, manipulations. They have tried to control my mind, my body, my life. And now they say that I am the one who is abusive.
This is not surprising. It is what happens when abusers are exposed. They cannot accept that they are the problem, so they make the victim into the problem. They cannot face their own emptiness, so they project their emptiness onto others. They cannot see their own obsession, so they accuse the victim of being obsessed.
What Is Actually Happening
I am documenting what they do to me. I am telling the truth about what I have experienced. I am seeking help from law enforcement and professionals. I am holding onto my faith. I am trying to live my life.
They are surveilling me. They are projecting imagery into my mind. They are inducing physical sensations. They are engaging in rituals. They are trying to control my character, my physiology, my faith. They are making up lies about my family, my race, my intentions.
Who is the abuser? It is not me.
Their accusations are tactics designed to make me defensive, to make me question myself, to make me feel that maybe I am the problem. I am not the problem. Their abuse is the problem.
What I Actually Am
I am Chinese Canadian. I was born in China, raised in Canada. I am proud of my heritage. I am proud of the country that took my family in. I am grateful for the freedom I have to speak, to write, to document.
I am not a surveillance operator. I do not have access to their technology. I do not have their resources. I do not have their networks. I am a working-class woman who is documenting what has been done to me.
The things I reveal are not even secrets anymore. People know there are elites who engage in surveillance, exploitation, corruption. I am not revealing anything that is not already known. I am simply documenting my own experience as one data point among many.
What I Know to Be True
Jesus Christ is God. He is my Lord and Saviour. Yahweh is Lord, a good, righteous, lawful, law-abiding God. The God I serve does not do what these operators do. The God I serve does not confuse, does not pervert, does not abuse.
I will not be cursed to do what they do. I will not engage in perverse orgies. I will not have children and sacrifice them. I will not exploit other people's children. I will not worship Baal.
I am a Christian. I belong to Jesus Christ. And nothing they do can change that.
My Rebuke
I rebuke their "King Saul" accusation. I rebuke their claim that God is tormenting me. I rebuke their "pedal fate" narrative. I rebuke their accusations of Baal worship. I rebuke their attempts to confuse my faith. I rebuke their claim that I am the surveillance operator. I rebuke their claim that I am the narcissistic abuser. I rebuke their lies about my race and my family.
I declare in the name of Jesus Christ: You are not agents of God. You are not delivering divine judgment. You are abusers who have confused your own perversions with spiritual authority. Your rituals have not worked. Your curses will not come to pass. I am not what you say I am.
I declare that the God I serve sees what you do. He sees the rituals, the projections, the perversions. He sees how you twist Scripture to justify your cruelty. And He is not mocked.
A Blessing for Those Targeted by Such Abuse
I bless all those who have been accused of being tormented by God when the torment comes from human hands. I bless those who have been told that their suffering is divine judgment. I bless those who have been made to doubt their faith by people who project their own evil onto others. I bless those who have been called the abuser when they are the one being abused. I bless those who have been told they are the surveillance operator when they are the one being surveilled.
You are not what they say you are. Your suffering is not divine punishment. Your faith is not confused. You are not the abuser. You are not the operator. Hold onto what you know to be true. Hold onto Jesus Christ. He is not the source of your torment. He is the source of your salvation.
References & Notes
On King Saul and the Evil Spirit
In 1 Samuel 16:14, it is written: "The Spirit of the Lord departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the Lord tormented him." The operators misuse this passage to justify their abuse, claiming that I am being tormented by God. In reality, they are the source of the torment, not God.
On Baal Worship and Projection
Baal worship in the Old Testament involved rituals that included sexual perversion and, in some cases, child sacrifice (Jeremiah 19:5; 32:35). The operators project these practices onto me while engaging in similar behaviors themselves. This is projection, attributing their own actions to their victim.
On Grooming and Unwanted Sensations
Groomers often use unwanted physical sensations to create confusion and dependency. The goal is to make the victim feel that their own body is betraying them, that they must be complicit because they experienced a physical response (Salter, 1995; Transforming Trauma; Lanning, 2010; Child Molesters: A Behavioral Analysis).
On Narrative Control and Projection
Abusers often attempt to control the narrative by projecting their own behavior onto their victims. They accuse the victim of being obsessed, dangerous, or unstable, precisely what the abuser is (Stark, 2007; Coercive Control).
On the Grey Rock Method
The grey rock method is a technique used to deal with narcissists and abusers by becoming uninteresting and unresponsive. The goal is to deprive the abuser of the emotional reaction they seek (Arabi, 2017; Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare).
On Gaslighting and Identity Confusion
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which the abuser makes the victim question their own perception of reality. The most extreme form is when the abuser tries to make the victim doubt their own identity, claiming that the victim is the abuser, that the victim is the one doing the harm (Stark, 2007; Coercive Control).
Biblical References
1 Samuel 16:14 The torment of Saul by an evil spirit.
Jeremiah 19:5 Condemnation of Baal worship and child sacrifice.
Jeremiah 32:35 Condemnation of child sacrifice to Baal.
Exodus 20:3-5 "You shall have no other gods before Me."
Isaiah 54:17 "No weapon that is formed against you will succeed."
Psalm 27:1 "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?"
Galatians 6:7 "Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a person sows, this he will also reap."
Romans 12:19 "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay, says the Lord."
2 Corinthians 10:5 "We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ."
James 4:7 "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."
John 8:32 "You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
Proverbs 26:2 "Like a sparrow in its flitting, like a swallow in its flying, a curse without cause does not alight."
Psalm 7:15-16 "He has dug a pit and hollowed it out, and has fallen into the hole which he made. His mischief will return upon his own head."
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