On Racism, Being Cast as a Negative Figure, and Concerns About Spiritual Matters
A Personal Record
Note to readers: This document reflects my personal perception and experience. It is not presented as established fact but as my honest testimony. I acknowledge that others may see things differently.
Introduction
A specific narrative is being constructed about me. The components of this composite portrait include labels such as: cold, manipulative, negative, abusive, and sly. The stated aim, as far as I can determine from years of monitoring and interaction with US-based surveillance operators, appears to be framing me as an un-Christ-like figure.
This document is a direct response to that narrative. It is written as a record.
The Context of Recorded Statements
The operators possess recordings. In those recordings, I have said things that are indeed harsh, profane, and theologically extreme. I have spoken harshly about operators. I have made statements that, taken out of context, could appear negative, hateful, or violent.
What the recordings do not show is the antecedent environment. These statements were made after prolonged provocation, harassment, bodily monitoring, and the projection of disturbing content into my mind without my consent. The operators actively encourage these outbursts, document them, and then present them as evidence of my inherent negative nature while omitting their own role as provocateurs.
Health Concerns Regarding My Mother
Concurrent with this narrative construction, there has been a recent escalation in health symptoms experienced by my mother: pain migrating across different regions of her body, headaches of no identifiable medical origin, and sudden coughing fits. These symptoms follow a pattern consistent with directed energy or systematic harassment, though I make no definitive medical or technical claim.
To be clear: I love my mother. She is a decent person and a genuine advocate for me. The conflicts that occur between us are a function of prolonged duress, not a reflection of my character outside this environment. Neither of us consents to the operators' actions.
On Claims of Consent and Enjoyment
The operators claim that I enjoy their presence and that my actions—including recording them and reporting their conduct—are performed to impress them or appear righteous. This is, in my view, a false interpretation. I do not enjoy their presence. I have never asked for their surveillance. My reporting is motivated by the desire to document ongoing harm, not by a need for approval from those committing the harm.
On Infantilization and Racialized Rhetoric
A consistent pattern within this operation appears to be the infantilization of anyone outside the operators' perceived group. Ethnic individuals are sometimes treated as less than them, more like children, and therefore undeserving of full respect or basic boundaries.
Some operators have referred to me in troubling ways based on my Christian faith, apparently convinced that my faith and dissociation from their abuse implies support for harmful ideologies. This is false. I do not hold those views.
Despite this rhetoric, I am simultaneously called too unimportant to be targeted and, when I resist, labelled negatively for exposing their actions due to my Chinese heritage.
Why Documentation Did Not Begin Sooner
A reasonable question is why I did not begin documenting and reporting these activities earlier. The answer is straightforward: I was overwhelmed, isolated, and uncertain of the full extent of the operation. Like my parents, I did not want to know the full scope of the lawlessness. Additionally, I believed that I have a right to exist as a lawful civilian without halting my entire life to catalog trauma. That right has been denied to me, but my delay in responding does not invalidate my claims.
Theological Dimension: Concerns About Spiritual Matters
This section requires careful reading.
I state as a matter of sincere religious belief that the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ is present in my life. I am not negatively influenced. I am not an antichrist figure. I am a victim of prolonged, organized abuse who has, under extreme provocation, said harsh things intended to provoke my abusers. These statements are not evidence of harmful allegiance; they are evidence of human limit.
The surveillance operators—many of whom identify as Christians—are collecting my most provoked moments and presenting them to third parties as proof of negative influence or wickedness.
Under orthodox Christian theology, as articulated in Matthew 12:31-32, there is a sin described as blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. The operators, by presenting a composite of me as something I am not, may be leading others to a mistaken understanding. Each person who believes this lie and speaks against the Spirit in my life, if my testimony is true, may be participating in a serious spiritual error. This concerns me deeply.
Fear Tactics and Anticipated Retaliation
The operators have recently added a layer of intimidation: they warn that I will be mocked, that my communities will ridicule me, that the harshest statements I have made under duress will be played publicly, that I will become a target of ridicule, and that I will be labeled negatively.
These threats are credible in the sense that the operators do possess embarrassing recordings. However, credibility of threat does not equal moral justification. The relevant question is not whether I look bad on tape—I do—but whether the context of prolonged abuse justifies a different interpretation of those recordings. I argue that it does.
Baseline Character Before 2024
For the sake of full disclosure, I provide the following baseline: before 2024, I was not a person who made harsh statements, visualized violence, or spoke harshly about others. I was quiet, lawful, and decent. I had never bullied anyone online or offline. The transformation in my speech and internal reactions is a direct response to their actions, not a pre-existing condition.
Yes, I have said harsh things. Yes, I have visualized violent scenes. Yes, I have said hateful things. These behaviors emerged after years of the operators projecting disturbing images into my mind—deliberately depicting themselves in unappealing and troubling forms to elicit exactly these reactions. They then document the reactions while omitting the provocations.
Conclusion: A Record, Not a Performance
I am not writing this to impress the operators, to appear righteous, or to win approval. I am writing this to establish a public record that does the following:
Acknowledges that I have said and done things that, out of context, appear negative or un-Christ-like.
Provides the necessary context of prolonged, organized, harmful abuse.
States clearly that neither my mother nor I consented to any of this.
Notes concerns about how the operators' actions relate to orthodox Christian teachings.
Documents the ongoing health concerns regarding my mother.
Rejects the colonial, racialized, and infantilizing framework the operators use to justify their actions.
If the operators release their recordings and their counter-statement, I expect to be mocked. I expect to be called a liar, a fraud, and a fool. That outcome does not change the facts. The facts, as I perceive them, are these: I am a Christian. The Holy Spirit is in my life. I was not always this angry. And the people who made me this angry are now trying to use my anger as proof that I was always something I am not.
That is not justice. That is not Christianity. That is a composite designed to hide their own reflection.
A Question for the Reader
You are not in my situation. Most people will never be. But if you were—unlawfully surveilled, your mother's health affected, your worst moments recorded and replayed, your faith weaponized, and your well-being slowly eroded over years—what would you do? Not what would you say you would do. What would you actually do?
I have chosen to write this. It is not enough. But it is something.
Final Prayer
I pray for protection over my mother, my father, my family, my friends, and all who are suffering under similar circumstances. I pray that God brings truth to light and justice to those who need it most.
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
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