On My Humanity, Self‑Awareness, Coping Mechanisms, Earnestness, Faith, Repentance, and Refusal to Be Complicit

 

I Am Not a Demon

A demon cannot open the eyes of the blind, nor would a demon possess the level of self‑awareness, reflexivity, and moral conscience that I am demonstrating by writing this letter. I am a human being—flawed, suffering, but deeply conscious of my own actions and their moral weight. I reflect on my behaviour constantly. I repent when I am wrong. That alone separates me from any label others try to pin on me.

All of the insight and things I expose and write here are my own. None of it was aided by the US surveillance operators. They did not give me this insight, data, or information. I realize all of this myself. Growing up, I have always been pensive, and many people called me an old soul. I am not making this up—my teachers and friends from my past remember me and would describe me as relatively intense and mature for my age.

An Honest Admission About My Reactions

I will also admit something that is not easy to say. Sometimes these days, I intentionally behave in very vulgar ways. I say things that are wrong—not because I am what they accuse me of being, which I am not, and not because I would ever do such things, which I never will. I say these things as a blunt, ugly, reactive outburst against the surveillance operators who bombard me with false accusations. They project their own harmful desires onto me. And in my anger and distress at their lies, I sometimes throw their own words back at them. I know this is not right. It is wrong to say such things even in retaliation. But I am being honest about how their constant accusations push me to my limits. I am not proud of this. I confess it openly, and I truly repent of the things I have said.

They specifically try to force the most disturbing intrusive thoughts into my mind—about children, violence, and self-harm. They hope to make me look unwell, to make me talk to myself in public, to make me be rejected and thought of as unbelievable in others' eyes. These are all deliberate strategies of psychological warfare.

But if you or any law enforcement or any genuine researcher, psychologist, or clinician truly speaks to me in earnestness, you will realize that I am relatively self‑reflexive. I do not say this to be egotistical or narcissistic. Personality-wise, I know I am also a normal, average person. Intelligence-wise, I am also average, not any more intelligent than most people in society. However, my unique life experience, my educational background, and my faith in Jesus Christ give me a great deal of human insight, psychological understanding, and divine assistance. That faith helps me and the people in my life to heal and to be safe, with Jesus Christ at the center of all of this.

I am not what the US surveillance operators falsely call me. Their accusations are deeply troubling. They treat it as a game to try to make me into something I am not.

They Started First

I need to be clear about the timeline. In good faith, I have never cursed any other person's family line in the past. I never wanted to harm anyone. But they were directing harmful words at me first. They put me through what I can only describe as deeply troubling experiences long before I ever said a single harsh word against them or their families. It was only after years of enduring their abuse and after realizing how embedded they are with ongoing wars and their mistreatment of me and my parents that I started saying some of these things in response.

I do truly repent of the harsh words I have said. But they have done the same to me, to my mom, to my dad, and to others in my life. They focus on my mom and me, calling us degrading names and envisioning us doing things that I do not even imagine them doing. And they still think what they put me through is "justice." It is deeply wrong. I would not have said these harsh words against their children if they were not doing these things in the first place.

Not All, But Many

To be clear: not all of the operators engage in harmful behaviors. But many do. And I am not like them, because I do not intentionally imagine them doing harmful things as a way to "get back at them." They imagine these things being done by targets as a way to attack the target. As long as I do not do these disgusting things, I am not one of them.

That is why, when they imagine me doing things I will never do, they justify it by saying that apparently I am also like them—that they are borrowing my "host" in the meantime, hoping I will ruin my body or harm myself. They call me degrading names. They claim they are an extension of me because "all demons have one mind, while angels and God have another mind altogether." This is how they justify their harmful thoughts, which they specifically tailor using my image. They convince themselves that they are part of my extended consciousness.

None of this is made up. This is a network of US-based surveillers composed of researchers, students, military workers, cult members (including Scientologists), elite rich families, corporate leaders, and others who do this and call it just. It is deeply troubling. I am not them. They have extended personal consciousness, privacy of mind, and personal identities. The harmful things they think about these days—focused on my image and the images of people in my life—are not me doing this. It is me knowing that they do this. And they accuse me of allowing them to have these thoughts, even though I absolutely do not, nor do I target anybody else in my life this way.

I Am Not Complicit

I am not a devil worshipper or a Baal worshipper. I will never be complicit in their harmful rituals, their injustices, or their wrongdoings. I will never do what they do to other people, including my mom. I will never be complicit in them trying to subtly attack my mom's health with pain or other things, while they watch with amusement, calling this justice. I will never be a part of their group, which is fundamentally against God and anything godly: love, boundaries, privacy, goodness.

They accuse me of being capable of harming my own children, just because they accuse me of being complicit in allowing my mom, dad, and friends to be harmed by them. These are lies against me that they cannot prove, designed to make my personality look harmful and lawless. Just like so many other targets, we are the victims, not the perpetrators. I have not tried to get attention nor made a single dollar from this experience or story. I make my information transparent and free, and I hope to make other targeted individuals' experiences more valid and real.

I Love My Mom

What I am doing right now is my way of helping her, my dad, my family. At least I will not feel like I am harbouring these stories in silence. I am being as transparent as I can.

Scripture

As it is written in the Scriptures:

"The LORD is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?" (Psalm 27:1, NIV)

"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." (Romans 12:21, NIV)

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9, NIV)

I hold fast to these truths. They may try to break me, but they will not succeed.

References

  • Abel, M. H. (2002). Humor, stress, and coping strategies. Humor, 15(4), 365–381.

  • Samson, A. C., & Gross, J. J. (2012). Humour as emotion regulation: The differential consequences of negative versus positive humour. Cognition & Emotion, 26(2), 375–384.

  • The Holy Bible, New International Version. (2011). Zondervan. (Original work published 1978)

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