Message to Friends, Intelligence Agenicies, Governments, the Public: On Faith, Obsession, and Moving Forward

 

I know I may seem extremely religiously obsessed. And indeed, I am. I do believe in Jesus Christ, and I put my faith in Him wholeheartedly. That is because I hold to the true testimony of God in my life, protecting me, blessing me, and giving me the strength to survive what has been done to me.

The surveillance operators paint my faith as a race narrative. They try to say my mindset can be extrapolated to China's future, or to Asian people's future. It sounds outlandish, laughable, ridiculous. But indeed, I have this burning sense of burden on me, because that is how some of the US surveillance operators paint me, and that is indeed how they see me.

So of course I am all the more adamant about pointing out righteous living, repenting of your sins, and not laughing at or dismissing random civilians' experiences of human injustice. I believe it is important to have some empathy and wisdom toward religion, toward my experiences, and toward the experiences of others.

As much as credentials, family connection, lineage, and education are important, it is immensely important just to listen to people, regardless of what and where they are from, because they may hold extremely valuable, relevant, and important data.

I do care about the future of my heritage, the society I live in, my life and the afterlife, and the lives of the people around me. And I believe I completely deliver them all to God to take care of, with my faith in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour, completely delivering them all to Him to protect and to save.

Why I Seem Obsessive

If I come across as obsessive with my statements and blog, it is because indeed I am. The weight of what I have endured, the urgency of what I am exposing, and the spiritual battle I am in all compel me to write with intensity. This is not a casual project for me. It is my testimony, my survival, and having my story written from my perspective.

What I Hope for After This

I hope to spend more time reading the gospel, going to church, and behaving more respectfully there. These days, I have not been extremely respectful at church, I have often found myself swearing, while the surveillance operators say the most revolting and disgusting perverse thoughts and things to bother my proper worship of Jesus Christ. They do not want me to have peace in God's house.

That is why I also hope to get all of my ideas on my statement and my blogs out as soon as possible, send them to the public, and then finally take a rest and a breather. I want to be able to focus on my normal life: going to church, spending time with friends and family, taking care of my mom, doing my research, exercising, and simply living.

I do not want to be defined by this abuse forever. I want to move forward, healed and free, in the name of Jesus Christ.

Note: Even as I write this, many of the different surveillance operators call me "eviler", "liar", "slyer", say I might be the "holier devil", etc., angry that I am a "data saturat-or", mocking me, with regards to the blog posts I write, that try to comprehensively cover my experiences and their abuse.

A Final Word

Please do not mistake my intensity for instability. What I have experienced would break most people. That I am still standing, still writing, still hoping, and still putting my faith in God, that is not a sign of madness. That is a sign of grace.

And I give all glory to God for that.

Ana, a child of Jesus Christ

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