How They Tried to Convince Me I Was an Angel of God's Wrath, Appealed to Vanity and Narcissism, and Made Me Feel Stupid – While They Took Advantage on the Other Side – A Confession of My Internet Use

May 29, 2026

A Note to Readers

This testimony contains descriptions of psychological manipulation, false accusations, references to past internet activity, and spiritual abuse. Reader discretion is advised. I am writing to document what I have endured and to warn others, not to sensationalize or spread fear.

Disclaimer

I am documenting the truth of my own experiences. There is true wrongdoing in this world, but we can choose to forgive, and to help others who are wrongfully being hurt as well.

I bless everyone who reads this in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen. I reject all harmful words said against my testimony and truthful documentation.

I put my faith in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour. I am a sinner saved through the mercy and grace of Jesus Christ. Amen. Bless God!

Part One: They Have No Evidence – A Critical Clarification

I want to be very clear about something important. The US surveillers have no evidence of me ever watching anything related to the abuse of minors since the beginning of their harassment and surveillance. Throughout the first two years I was in New York City, I never even thought of the term “pedophile.” I never thought about children in these disgusting ways. They indeed do not have evidence of this, and they cannot prove it to other Five Eyes agencies.

Never once have I solicited minors online or offline. If anything, I was doing a reading buddies program during my second year in NYC. I did not think once about anything related to pedophilia. It simply was not on my mind at all, ever.

Prior to COVID-19, I would have normal conversations with my university girlfriend about becoming a mom and having three children, and about a dream life of marriage and normal things. The fact that they now tried to manufacture me and brainwash me to become some kind of pedophile pornographer – which was literally their initial plan – is deeply wrong. I feel blessed that I can literally and honestly reveal this, since this is what they had intended for me.

If other intelligence agencies genuinely ask them in transparency about these claims I make, they would have to be honest and reveal that what I say is completely honest.

Part Two: After They Pretended to Kill Me – The Escalation

It was only after they pretended to kill me with direct energy weapons and then tried to convince me I had resurrected from the dead (around April 2024) that afterwards they were blatantly shouting at me, calling me a pedophile. Whenever I would see random boys and girls in real life, they would say disgusting terms and sentences to try to make me visualize inappropriate things, and they said this was justice.

You can literally question them on this. They would have no shame if they said otherwise. They do not care because they only care about the outcome. They hope to do this while also vulgarizing me, saying disgusting things, bullying me, and making me stressed, traumatized, hateful, angry, and hopefully vengeful and racist – to then justify all the more the harmful ways they treat me.

They hope that through abuse, stress, and other things, I would trauma-bond with the harmful individuals of the group to share a collective mind, perception, and physiology with them. This is wrong.

Part Three: By God’s Grace – I Go to Church

But by God’s grace, I go to church to worship Jesus Christ. I have genuine Christians in my life who pray for my mom and me. Instead of becoming a tragedy by them – despite the fact they literally curse me to die a pedophile, which I rebuke eternally in the name of Jesus Christ, amen – I am instead continuing my higher education, making new friends in real life, and trying to navigate law enforcement and intelligence to reveal my experiences and stories.

I have a truly repenting heart. You know how it must feel to be treated 24/7 with suspicion, mistrust, hate, sarcasm, glee, wickedness, not taken seriously, and looked down upon – with knowledge of them doing these harmful things to me and others, along with their dehumanized perception of me as a person, and the human trafficking they engage in – all because I am not committing suicide.

I have no privacy. I cannot even have the most intimate moments alone. They try to hope that this will ultimately make me seem delusional or lying. But I genuinely am being transparent. I know that as long as I am accurate, the truth of me and them will reveal itself.

Part Four: We Are All Sinners – Called to Repentance

Again, we are all sinners that need to repent, turn from our ways, and be reborn after knowing the truth of Jesus Christ and living obediently to Christ Jesus – who is love and mercy. Even if I truly try to be kind and compassionate, I have these foes and surveillance operators sneering at me, being dubious of me, and hating me on the other side. This obviously takes away the authenticity of any experience.

This is a type of crime that has not yet been recorded in the world. They justify it by saying that someone like me – who is “lawless” for not committing suicide despite this knowledge – does not deserve even my most private thoughts to connect to God and Jesus Christ. They constantly monitor and surveil my mind and biometric data like parasites, apparently until my last breath.

I rebuke all their wickedness in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Part Five: They Tried to Convince Me I Was an Angel of God’s Wrath

One of the most insidious tactics the US surveillers used was trying to convince me that I was an angel of God’s wrath. They called me a “bowl of God’s wrath,” saying I was representing war, that I was chosen to bring about divine judgment. They appealed to vanity and narcissism – trying to make me feel special, important, and set apart. They wanted me to believe that I had a cosmic role, that I was an instrument of God’s plan.

This is a manipulation tactic. They wanted me to feel so important that I would lose sight of reality. They wanted me to become self-absorbed, to think I was above others, to isolate myself from normal human relationships. They wanted me to believe that the abuse they were putting me through was actually a divine calling.

But I am not an angel. I am not a bowl of God’s wrath. I am a flawed human being, a sinner saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ. Their appeals to my vanity were lies designed to control me.

Part Six: They Tried to Make Me Stupid and Dull My Mind

At the same time, they tried to make me stupid. They tried to dull my mind, to make my thoughts a cesspool of the worst content I had ever been exposed to – forum commentary, abuse, inappropriate comments, and poisonous rhetoric. They tried to regress my mental faculties, to make me confused, to make me forget who I am.

They wanted to take a curious adolescent who made mistakes and turn her into a caricature of ignorance and depravity. They wanted to make me feel perpetually sinful, perpetually guilty, perpetually stupid. This is cruel. This is not justice.

I was a lurker, not a participant. I was ignorant, not malicious. I made mistakes, but I have repented. I have turned to God. I have asked for forgiveness. Their attempts to make me feel stupid are projections of their own insecurity and malice.

Part Seven: A Confession – I Was a Lurker, Not a Poster

I want to be honest and transparent about my past. I admit that I was young and naive. I was a lurker on internet forums – a person who read and observed without participating. I did not fully understand what I was reading or exposing myself to. I was simply reading people’s different experiences, thoughts, and impressions – some of which were extremely wrong, hateful, contemptuous, and poisonous.

I was not a poster. I did not actively participate in harmful communities. I was ignorant, not malicious. I was an adolescent, curious about the world, and I did not have the wisdom to discern what I was consuming. In retrospect, this was a mistake. I should not have been there. But I was young, and I did not understand the weight of what I was exposing myself to.

Now they use these memories against me. They use them to justify harmful ritual abuse, to torment me, to say it is justice. They try to superimpose new memories and associations that were never there initially.

I was not a Christian then. I did not know about heaven and hell in the way I do now. I was less morally straight and thought I was “cool” for knowing about certain things on the internet. It was adolescent stupidity and curiosity. Now I know it is wrong, and I understand how devastating these things can be.

Part Eight: I Never Engaged with Children or Predators Online

The elephant in the room is this: I have never in my life tried to talk to a child on the internet. I have never talked to predators soliciting me on the internet growing up. As an adolescent and young adult, I have never provided my information – or the information of others – to a predator on the internet. I have never intentionally lurked in areas that children go to on the internet.

This disturbs me and outright troubles me. Yet because I lurked on certain internet forums, they now try to link me to these other people. This is very wrong and unfair.

I have also watched Chris Hansen’s “To Catch a Predator.” Like many other youth, I had a laugh or mocked the predators. I did not think I would now be treated as such. They accuse this of being justice. Again, this was prior to me going to university – during my high school years, when I was impressionable. I am 27 years old now.

The US surveillers are trying to treat me as a child and dull my mind, to make my mind sometimes a cesspool of forum commentary, abuse, and inappropriate comments. This is unjust and cruel.

Part Nine: They Project False Signs of Divinity

They project false signs of divinity – making people hear noises that are not there, relaying messages, sowing false lies about Christianity, and trying to sow confusion. Despite this, they are not angels. They are flawed human beings just like you and me. Even if they were pretending to be angels, or giving angelic messages like “believe in Jesus Christ,” it could still have negative unintended consequences.

Especially if some person were a false prophet who then convinces themselves they are Jesus Christ, or someone who is spiritual and thinks they are talking to God. This is what they initially hoped I would look like – to believe as if they are angels and God, to feel a sense of importance, to believe I was saving humanity or that I was an angel of wrath of God.

This is another rhetoric they tried to sow. They called me a “bowl of God’s wrath,” saying I was representing war. Again, this is accurate – not me allegedly saying this, but literally what they were trying to convince me of. They laugh and sneer on the other side of the technology and their screens.

Part Ten: They Took Advantage on the Other Side

While they were trying to convince me of these grandiose lies – that I was an angel, that I was chosen, that I was special – they were taking advantage on the other side. They were surveilling me, harassing me, performing harmful rituals, and stealing my biometric data. They were laughing and sneering while I struggled to make sense of the confusion they were sowing.

They wanted me to believe that their abuse was actually a divine calling. They wanted me to feel grateful for their attention. They wanted me to think that I owed them something. This is gaslighting on a spiritual level.

But I see through it now. Their appeals to my vanity were lies. Their claims to be angels were false. Their “bowl of God’s wrath” rhetoric was manipulation.

Part Eleven: They Try to Make Me Feel Perpetually Sinful

They constantly, with contempt, mock me and try to “audit” me to get me to remember my past sins. They do this to justify the abuse they do to me, making me feel perpetually sinful. They say things to degrade me.

But I know the truth. I have repented. I have turned to God. I have asked for forgiveness. My past mistakes – lurking on forums, watching content I should not have watched – do not justify their ongoing abuse. The Bible teaches that when we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us (1 John 1:9). Their accusations are not God’s judgment. They are their own projections.

I rebuke their attempts to make me feel perpetually sinful in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Part Twelve: They Gaslight My Parents – Isolating the Abuse

They gaslight my parents to make them not feel at all the things they do to me. They isolate the abuse and the vocal harassment – the symptoms that might appear like mental distress – onto me. They do this so that even my parents would not believe my abuse or the testimony I hold in my faith in Jesus Christ.

This is a form of spiritual and psychological warfare. They want me to be alone. They want my own family to doubt me. They want to take away my support system.

But God sees. God knows. And God will not let their schemes succeed forever.

Part Thirteen: They Say This Is Justice – Because I Know That Cruel People Exist

They say this is simply what they do to me, since I know that some people are cruel and unfortunately do these things to others. I have heard stories about victims being bullied by people who are like the US surveillers. Because of my knowledge of this, they claim it is justified to put me, my parents, and others through this.

But this is not justice. This is scapegoating. They are projecting their own cruelty onto me and blaming me for being aware that cruelty exists.

Part Fourteen: They Manipulate My Physiology and Biometric Data to Project False Guilt

They are able to manipulate my physiology and biometric data. For example, they can change my entire mood by projecting the sensations of feeling guilty. These days, when I ruminate on my regret of browsing 4chan as an adolescent and teenager – reminding myself that at least I have never been as cruel as they accuse me of, not even close – they project false sensations of guilt.

These false sensations include:

Flushing of my cheeks
Fear responses
A knot in my throat
Discomfort
Raised temperature, like feverish symptoms

They do this to make me feel guilty and scared, to try to further audit my memory, hoping I would incriminate myself. They accuse me of lying about my past – to make myself seem less wicked than them. They do this while constantly hoping I internalize their evil, wicked intent towards me and others, even though they do not have this being done to them.

Likewise, they hope I mock myself by “showing off” despite knowing others are mocking me on the other side – mocking my intelligence and self-awareness. Again, I don’t even owe them anything. I don’t post disturbing, hateful things on the internet. I don’t post perverse things on the internet. I never talk to minors on the internet – and that fact alone disturbs me to know. I don’t hack others. I don’t steal people’s money or blackmail them or anything else. Neither do my friends nor my parents.

And yet they put me in this isolated chamber of guilt, abuse, contempt, disgust, and hate – along with the knowledge of sexual deviants surveilling my parents, me, and others in my life – to test my response and call me complicit in their disgustingness.

They try to project disgusting rape-type imagery into my mind. They hope it would project random minors, etc., to try to sway my perceptions and influence my mental health and mind, to then connect me with the deviants and pedophiles of the group. This is sickening. I am accurately describing what they do in terms of trying to link you to these wicked creeps with technology. And what’s worse is they even know this is wrong, yet still do this.

Part Fifteen: I Pray You Feel Blessed and Free

I pray you can feel blessed, free, and have gratitude in your life that you are not being treated the way I am, enduring this. Truly, it could be worse with the technology they have that exists now.

I do not at all reduce the difficulties of others’ lives. We all have our difficulties and struggles, and each nation and person has different difficulties: national security, financial instability, religious persecution, violence, abusive relationships, gaslighting, bullying at jobs and institutions, racism, and more. All people’s experiences are just as valuable as mine.

But I hope it does not cloud your understanding that the abuse I endure is truly real. The only reason I look relatively sane and healthy is truly my faith in Jesus Christ and trying to have gratitude for the stability and goodness that the people in my life provide through friendship and goodness. I truly want this in others’ lives as well. I do not see myself as better than anyone else.

Part Sixteen: My Response – Rejecting Their Accusations

I reject their accusations that my past mistakes justify their abuse. I was a lurker, not a participant. I was ignorant, not malicious. I have repented. I have been forgiven. I am not complicit in their harmful activities. I am not complicit in stealing others’ biometric data.

I reject their claims that I am an angel of God’s wrath. I reject their appeals to my vanity and narcissism. I reject their attempts to make me feel stupid and perpetually sinful. I reject their false evidence and manufactured narratives about pedophilia.

I reject their physiological manipulation – the false guilt sensations, the feverish symptoms, the knot in my throat, the flushing of my cheeks. I reject their attempts to project rape-type imagery into my mind. I reject their efforts to link me to deviants and pedophiles through technology.

I am a child of God, saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ. I am not special in the way they claimed. I am not a bowl of God’s wrath. I am simply a person trying to live a decent life.

I rebuke their harmful words and their technological manipulation in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Part Seventeen: A Prayer for Justice and Truth

Heavenly Father, I pray for protection over myself, my mom, my dad, and all targeted individuals. I pray that You would expose the biased data and false narratives being spread about me. I pray that You would protect my parents from being misled and from doubting my testimony. I pray that You would bring justice and truth to light. I pray for the salvation of all people, including those who have harmed me. I pray for all young people who have made mistakes online – that they would be protected, guided, and given second chances. I pray for all who are suffering, regardless of the form their suffering takes – that they would find comfort, healing, and hope in You. I ask that You would block every false physiological projection – every false sensation of guilt, every feverish symptom, every knot in the throat, every flushed cheek that they have manufactured. I declare that my body is Your temple, and no technology shall defile it without Your permission. In the name of Jesus Christ, I declare love, protection, and grace. Amen.

I bless my mom. I bless my dad. I bless all who read these words. I thank God for His grace, for the support I receive, and for the awareness that I could easily be without a home – yet He carries me through.

I am a sinner saved through the mercy and grace of Jesus Christ. Amen.

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” — John 1:5

Note on AI assistance: This document was aided by artificial intelligence to help organize and articulate my experiences and observations. However, the content is based on my lived experiences and reflects my genuine understanding of what I have endured and what I believe.

Praise God, Jesus Christ. Amen.