April 18th Update: When the Sacred Is Imitated, Not Understood: A Reflection on US Surveillance Operators and the Birds of the Holy Spirit
I am writing this down to remember. To keep a record of something troubling, but also something divine that I experience daily.
I want to be honest right at the start: this may sound unusual or hard to believe. But I am being completely honest about what I have experienced. The point is that I am troubled by the delusion and spiritual obsessions of certain US surveillance operators.
This is not a fragment of my imagination. And I do not need anyone to tell me it is. What I need is for the record to show how concerning and inappropriate their behavior has been.
What Is Real and Good
I have made friends with birds. Real ones. Seagulls, pigeons, doves, sparrows. They acknowledge me, and I acknowledge them. This is a quiet and consistent presence in my life. They fly in groups around me, often when I am outside. They bring comfort. They feel like protection. I believe that the presence of Yahweh is in this. The dove has long been a symbol of the Holy Spirit. I do not claim to understand it fully, but I do claim to experience it genuinely.
What Has Become Disturbing
There are US surveillance operators who also see the presence of Yahweh in my life. They recognize the Holy Spirit in the birds and in my connection to them. And honestly? That part should not surprise me. These are people who already see themselves as something like angels, given their worldly power rooted in war weapons, military connections, an obsession with the occult, and also—paradoxically—an obsession with Yahweh and God. They live in an isolated, delusional world, amplified by technology and a religious rhetoric that has lost its anchor.
But instead of respecting what they see as holy, they have begun to imitate it in ways that feel sacrilegious and self-focused.
Some of them now pretend to be pigeons and claim that their harmful influences are inside me, which disturbs me. Some of them compare themselves to the birds that represent the Holy Spirit. They chant things in infantilized voices like, "The pigeons don't like me," and "The pigeons aren't my friends." They let me know they are jealous. Jealous of the real birds. Jealous of the peace I have.
They accuse me of being something I am not. They project harmful images into my mind. They claim I am connected to harmful people. They see life as a game to be lost and won. They seem to care little about humanity. And yet they dare to use spiritual language as if they have any reverence for it.
They speak in false, childlike tones about how the pigeons—the Holy Spirit's birds—are against me. Some of them seem to genuinely believe they are pigeons or doves. Others compare themselves to war pigeons or agents of judgment, especially given the context that they seem focused on sowing conflict, even a world war.
I do not say this lightly: it is spiritually confused to claim the identity of a dove while doing everything a dove would not do. Doves do not curse. Doves do not harass. Doves do not say harmful, troubling things about someone's mother. And yet these operators have done exactly that.
They have tried to torment my mind about things I have not done. Things my own memory has no record of. They have spoken harmful words over me—hoping to make me troubled and unwell. They have lied, saying that their own harmful words actually represent me, because they pretend to be an extension of me, and by extension, an extension of God Yahweh.
Trust me when I say this is not a far reach from what they already believe. They already see themselves as angels. They already mix war, the occult, and the God of Israel into one troubling combination. So pretending to be doves? Comparing themselves to the Holy Spirit's own birds? That is not a stretch for them. That is exactly who they are. And that is exactly what troubles me.
The Danger
When people see something holy and, instead of honouring it, try to wear it as a disguise—that is delusion. When they project their own harmful actions onto you and call you something you are not while you are praying to Yahweh—that is misguided. When they see life as a game, humanity as collateral damage, and spirituality as a weapon—that is not faith. That is collapse.
So I want to say clearly, for the record:
I speak against their harmful words. All of them. Words of harm, jealousy, and wrongdoing. I do this in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
I bless myself. I bless my mom, my dad, and my family. And I bless all the heavenly birds, in the name of Jesus Christ.
And I want to apologize to those birds. The doves. The pigeons. The sparrows. The seagulls. I am sorry that you have been compared to people who act nothing like you. You are my friends. You acknowledge me. I acknowledge you. That is real. That is holy. That is enough.
A Final Reflection
As for the surveillance operators: I hope one day they see the difference between imitating the sacred and actually being changed by it. But I am not certain. Some of them seem too deep in their own delusion, too comfortable with their war weapons and occult games, too convinced they are angels while acting like everything but.
Until then, I will find comfort with the birds. And I will keep remembering what is real.
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