A Testimony: On Mind "Colonization", Passing, and Holding onto Jesus Christ

 

A True Admission

These days, the thought of passing from this life lingers in my mind. Not because I am weak. Not because I have lost faith. But because there are people – US surveillance operatives, or those acting under that banner – who are deeply harmful. They try to accuse me of being something I am not. They try to treat me as something monstrous. They do exploitative, troubling things to me daily.

They try to merge with my consciousness. My personality. They insert their harmful presence into my mind – voices, unwanted sensations, the constant hearing of individuals acting through their technologies. Trying to force my personality into something I will never be.

They accuse me of being something I despise. In actuality, I am a normal human being. I turn away from harmful practices. I love Jesus Christ. I love a normal, simple life with my real friends and family. I dislike the loud life – unnecessary decadence, hedonism. I dislike social media. I dislike the idea of being married just for the sake of marriage. And it is concerning that these US surveillers accuse me of being against my own race, self-hating, and apparently connected to them.

I do not want to merge or connect with their consciousness.

The only reason I have not yet passed from this life is that I can still clearly distinguish my own inner monologue and identity from theirs.

It is deeply troubling how they try to make me distressed – through harmful episodic bombardments. Disturbing scenes. Violent things. Disturbing thoughts. They accuse me of being fearful and selfish, of hating myself and my parents if I were to leave. They try to make me distressed while they seem focused on traumatizing and harassing me – trying to create some unhealthy bond with these individuals.

But I am glad that God Jesus Christ is with me. He gives me a spirit of healing, love, and lack of fear. I recognize exactly what they are doing. And I am not afraid to say goodbye to them and to pass from this life if that is God's will.

They cannot make me what they want. I do not believe they can ever change who I am – though they consistently try to confuse my mind, try to induce instability in me, try to get me to engage in things I do not believe in. They call me harsh when I am acting more Christ-like. They call me "better" when I am angry and affected by their harmful practices.


Who I Refuse to Become

I do not want to become the person they try to make me become:

  • Vulgar

  • Perverse

    Pretending to harm children or actually harming anyone, psychologically or physically 

  • Heartless, sarcastic

  • Lacking human decency, self-respect, respect for others

  • Seeing money over life 

  • Self-important and self-obsessed 

  • Mentally ill 

  • Godless  

Their technology is deeply concerning. Knowing their presence 24/7 already makes you feel unsettled just going about your life – even if you would never do this to anyone else. They call you complicit for just living. That is deeply wrong.


The Injustice of Being Made a Parody

I am only glad that Jesus Christ forgives me and is with me. He recognizes this unique sense of injustice and harm. The troubling things they are doing to me and my parents. The level of concerning behavior – calling me a "star" within their network. A parody. A target. Representing China. Some hoping it is China's difficulty. Trying to make me extremely negative, troubled, and unwell before passing – or, in their perception, hopefully also making my mom behave in ways not her right state of mind. Speaking against us.

I have never been what they accuse me of. I never do what they do. I never accuse others – Christians and non-Christians living their civilian lives – of such things. And yet they do this to me. It is deeply wrong.

But I remember: regardless of the harmful words they say and shout, the harmful intentions they constantly cast on my life, the harmful influences – there are our heavenly angels, our guardians, and God who consistently block out their harmful words. They protect us without rest. God sees just how concerning my foes are.

God is good. Even if you are behaving negatively, you have guardian angels who understand when you are being afflicted. I am glad that Jesus Christ is a merciful God. I recognize I will never do what they do.


The Lie About Children

When you realize how sweet children are – how innocent and whole – these people accuse me of being harmful. They feel justified in creating troubling lies about me and children. Despite me being a young woman myself. A victim of their troubling practices. They try to traumatize and distress my soul by accusing me of the very harmful things they do – things I have never done to anyone. They accuse me of being the type of harmful they do to me.


On Celibacy as a Blessing

In the midst of this torment, I have come to see celibacy as a major blessing. They project disturbing scenes into my mind without my consent – without God's consent – simply because they are troubled. But because I have chosen celibacy and remain separate from certain entanglements, I am not caught in the confusion they try to create. Celibacy preserves clarity. It protects the soul from added weight. In a state where they attempt to violate the sanctuary of the mind, being unmarried and celibate means there is no false bond, no manufactured loyalty they can exploit. I thank God for this grace. Celibacy is not a lack – it is a shield, a quiet fortress against their harmful projections.

They thought my celibacy and my distance from motherhood in these circumstances were weaknesses. They were pleased, in previous weeks, when they afflicted me so badly that I tried to calm myself in ways I later regretted. God knows I have long turned away from those actions. And how concerning they are to be pleased by that development. These days, I recognize God is still with me. I heal much more.


When It Is Not Schizophrenia

When people might truly not have schizophrenia – but it is people in positions of power in nations, abusing that power in harmful ways with real outcomes related to God and Jesus Christ – that is deeply concerning. I will not walk with wrongdoers.

God is a good God. Even if I were to die, I know I have clearly recorded everything I am truly experiencing. God has my soul through Yahweh, who will judge us with Jesus Christ. God knows my heart. I will not be wrongly accused and turned into something I am not by these harmful strangers in the US surveillance apparatus.

There is good and harm everywhere – beyond any nation. But in my situation, I pray God knows when I need to let go. Because I will not let these US surveillers take over my mind and sense of self.

Praise God. I pray You always protect my mother, my father, my actual family, our nations, and me. And that You can also forgive these US surveillers – despite the harm they do.

I am definitely not connected to them. I am dedicated to Jesus Christ, to You, regardless of what these US surveillers say.

It is deeply troubling when others try to take over your sense of autonomy, mind, and identity. Colonizing your spirituality and soul is deeply wrong – exactly what many of these US surveillers try to do. Harming your personality through insidious technologies.

But God is not a fool. And as believers in Jesus Christ, God is always with us.

Praise God.


A Prayer for Every Nation, Every Soul

Merciful Yahweh, God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob – Father of all creation,

I lift my heart to You now, not only for myself but for every nation, every people, every tongue. For Christians and for those who do not yet know You, for the faithful and the weary, for the doubter and the seeker.

Lord, let Your presence be known. May Your Holy Spirit move across borders, across ideologies, across every dividing wall. Let Your love – the same love revealed in Jesus Christ – reach the forgotten villages, the crowded cities, the war-torn lands, and the silent hearts that cry without words. You are love itself, and love never fails.

I pray that You, God, are with them. Not because of what they have done, but because You made them. Every human being carries Your image, even when they do not recognize it. Do not forget them – hold them close. Let them glimpse Your goodness through nature, through kindness, through a moment of grace. Let them know that they are valuable, precious, and deeply seen.

Lord Jesus Christ, You are the visible image of the invisible God. I pray that more people – in every nation, from every background – would come to experience You. Not through force, not through fear, but through a quiet revelation of Your tenderness. Break the chains of confusion, of hatred, of spiritual blindness. Let salvation and goodness grow like seeds in good soil, now and in the days to come.

Have mercy, O God. Have mercy on those who mock You without knowing who You truly are. Have mercy on those who are lost in systems of cruelty, those who are victims, those who are perpetrators – for we are all in need of Your grace. Pour out Your protection over the vulnerable, over children, over the mentally tormented, over the lonely. Let no weapon formed against them prosper in the eternal sense.

I also pray for those who do not yet realize the importance of following or knowing You. Even in their ignorance, they are not beyond Your reach. You are not far from any one of us. Draw them gently. Let them discover that a life rooted in Your love brings meaning, hope, and a peace the world cannot give. And until that day, surround them with guardian angels, with moments of truth, with the patience of a Father who waits with open arms.

Bless every nation – not according to politics or power, but according to Your divine justice and compassion. Let righteousness flow like a river. Protect the innocent. Raise up peacemakers. Soften the hearts of those who abuse authority. Let Your church be a hospital for the wounded, not a fortress of judgment.

I declare that God is with you, reader, wherever you are, wherever you stand. You are not forgotten. You are not worthless. The same Jesus who wept for Jerusalem weeps for you. And I ask the Father, in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, to pour out healing, protection, privacy, and love upon all people – believers and unbelievers alike – because God is love, and love desires that none should perish.

I pray this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16) – and this love extends to every nation, every soul, every hidden heart.

I pray that everyone else also has God with them – allowing them healing, protection, privacy, and love.

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.


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