PART 9: HOW THEIR ACTIONS AFFECT ME

 PART 9: HOW THEIR ACTIONS AFFECT ME

• 9.1 Patterns of Accusation and Projection
• 9.2 Provocation and Manufactured Responses
• 9.3 Statement on Antisemitism and Racism
• 9.4 The Personal Impact of Sustained Targeting
  • 9.4.1 Their Strategy of Discrediting
  • 9.4.2 Recording and Misrepresentation
  • 9.4.3 Reasons for Continuing to Speak
• 9.5 On the Targeting of My Mother and Other Loved Ones
  • 9.5.1 Why They Target This Relationship
  • 9.5.2 The Complexity of Our Real Situation
  • 9.5.3 The Strain on My Parents' Relationship
  • 9.5.4 Why My Parents Don't Know the Full Extent
  • 9.5.5 What Holds Us Together
• 9.6 Indications That My Father in China Is Also Targeted
• 9.7 Acknowledgment of My Own Responses
• 9.8 The Structure of Psychological Traps
• 9.9 Spiritual Significance and Personal Identity
• 9.10 The Range of Attitudes Among Those Involved
  • 9.10.1 Contempt Based on Ethnicity
  • 9.10.2 Human-trafficking Targeting
  • 9.10.3 No Acceptable Response
  • 9.10.4 Documentation for Potential Blackmail
  • 9.10.5 The Common Element
• 9.11 Their Attempt to Implant Unhealthy Thought Patterns
• 9.12 Their Attempt to Exploit and Disgrace
• 9.13 The Weaponization of Fear
  • 9.13.1 How Fear Affects the Brain and Body
  • 9.13.2 The Trap: Fear Leading to Violence
  • 9.13.3 The Fawn Response: When Fear Meets Perversion
  • 9.13.4 The Biblical Response: Not Fighting Fear with Violence
  • 9.13.5 What Actually Helps: Practical Steps for Healing
  • 9.13.6 My Advice
• 9.14 On Surveillance, the Hawthorne Effect, and Faith as Protection
  • 9.14.2 The Hawthorne Effect: When Watching Changes Everything
  • 9.14.3 Intrusive Thoughts and the Mental Prison of Surveillance
  • 9.14.4 Spiritual Destruction: How Surveillance Blocks the Holy Spirit
  • 9.14.5 The Paradox: They Create What They Claim to Find
• 9.15 How I've Learned to Cope: Transparency, Honesty, and Faith
  • 9.15.1 Transparency Disarms Surveillance
  • 9.15.2 Honesty Protects Against the Hawthorne Effect
  • 9.15.3 Faith as Foundation
  • 9.15.4 Practical Practices
• 9.16 Healing and Hope: A Response to Their Harassment
  • 9.16.1 What the Abusers Do
  • 9.16.2 Do Not Be Influenced
  • 9.16.3 Why Social Support Matters
• 9.17 The Ethics of This Situation: A Question for the Reader
  • 9.17.1 What would you do?
  • 9.17.2 My Claim Regarding the Ethics of My Circumstances

The cumulative effect of this prolonged targeting has been significant. What follows is an account of how their actions manifest in my daily life and the strategies they employ to destabilize me.

9.1 Patterns of Accusation and Projection

Those conducting this surveillance frequently project onto me the very behaviours they themselves exhibit. They suggest violent thoughts toward my parents and attempt to channel these suggestions so that I experience hostility toward others, including making inappropriate comments involving minors.

At times, they project disturbing or occult imagery and symbols into my mind, particularly when I am sleeping, while chanting sinful words, apparently believing this will influence my spiritual state or my relationship with those around me. They also attempt to instill distressing thoughts involving family members, friends, and strangers, while simultaneously accusing me of complicity for not having exposed them sooner.

9.2 Provocation and Manufactured Responses

They have made comparisons between me and biblical figures such as Pharaoh, Ezra, Jezebel, Nahum, among other biblical characters. On occasion, when I have reacted to their sustained provocation with hostility, they have appeared to welcome these responses as justification for their ongoing targeting.

I recognize that some of my reactions have included harsh words directed at them, including expressions of anger toward the US. I regret these responses, which occurred under conditions of extreme stress, perverse abuse, isolation, and injustice.

9.3 Statement on Antisemitism and Racism

I wish to state clearly that I am not antisemitic. I value Jewish people and culture and count Jewish individuals among my friends. I strive to be aware of any prejudices I may hold and to reject racism in all forms. I recognize that I have experienced relative safety from overt racism and sexism in my daily life, though I now consider myself a survivor of technology-based targeting, particularly exasperated due to my gender, race, and class.

9.4 The Personal Impact of Sustained Targeting

The distress I experience is a direct result of actions initiated by those conducting this surveillance, not of my own choosing. While I do not compare myself to biblical figures, I understand the experience of harboring resentment in response to sustained harm.

Some individuals involved appear to view themselves in symbolic terms drawn from the Book of Revelation, attempting to influence my mental state through persistent manipulation. These methods have at times induced feelings of depression, suicidal ideation, anger, violent thoughts, confusion, and fatigue, including sleep disruption and physical sensations such as headache and pressure. While these effects are not constant, they have periodically interfered with my ability to function and have introduced thoughts inconsistent with my normal state of mind, particularly regarding my Faith, my relationships, and my desire for a normal life.

9.4.1 Their Strategy of Discrediting

A central element of their approach appears designed to make me appear mentally unstable and therefore not credible. The technology they employ is not publicly documented, which allows them to operate without conventional accountability. They seem to operate on the assumption that I lack the resources, connections, or capacity to bring attention to these experiences, and that any attempt to speak out will be ignored or dismissed.

9.4.2 Recording and Misrepresentation

Throughout this period, they have recorded my reactions, including moments when, under sustained duress, I responded with anger, behaved in inappropriate ways, or said things I would not have said in a normal state. These recordings include instances where I directed harsh language toward them, including expressions targeting "elite" Americans and cults. They have also created or projected fake images of me that can misrepresent the person I am and strive to be.

They imply that this recorded material gives them the ability to discredit me should I speak publicly, by portraying me as unstable, racist, or otherwise unreliable. They may also attempt to characterize me as complicit or motivated by their evil crimes and geopolitical intentions.

9.4.3 Reasons for Continuing to Speak

Despite being aware that they have recorded my "worst" moments of anger, upset and outbursts, and mocking episodes, the implication that they will attempt to discredit me, and that the technology itself is designed to be deniable, I believe it is important to document these experiences. The patterns of behaviour I have observed, the use of hidden technology, and the targeting of ordinary individuals are matters that extend beyond my personal situation.

I do not know whether this testimony will reach those who might act upon it. But I am placing it in God's hands, believing that truth ultimately belongs to Him. I protect myself and my family in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

9.5 On the Targeting of My Mother and Other Loved Ones

In recent months, those engaged in this surveillance have intensified their focus on my mother. Not in ways that would be obvious to an outside observer, but in ways that are unmistakable to me. They have tried to use me, my own mind, my own thoughts, as a weapon against the person who has loved me most consistently throughout my life.

This is what they do. They operate like parasites. They attach themselves to healthy relationships and try to drain them, corrupt them, turn them into sources of pain. And in recent months, they have made it their project to sow wicked thoughts in my mind about my mother.

These are not my thoughts. They are intrusions, unwanted, foreign, inserted, designed to make me imagine harm coming to her, or to us hurting each other, or to her health failing, or to her mental state deteriorating under stress. They plant images of conflict where none exists. They suggest scenarios of betrayal that have no basis in reality. They whisper that she might be different than I know her to be, that her motives might be suspect, that the love between us might somehow be twisted.

And while they do this, they make it obvious that they are watching and that some harbour gratification towards others' distress. They are not neutral observers collecting data. They are predators feeding on distress. Our struggle, our pain, our fight to hold onto love in the face of their assaults, this is entertainment to some of them.

I have seen this clearly. Some of them actively try to poison the most important relationships in my life, and they do it with the unmistakable energy of those who take pleasure in cruelty. Their goal is to make me into a criminal, outlawed and discredited, not taken seriously by the rest of society, despite the truth of what I am stating.

And they do not stop with thoughts. They also speak. They have called my mother names. They have called her "baal", a term loaded with spiritual violence, intended to demonize her, to make her seem wicked, to frame her as something deserving of their attacks. They have called me the same. They link us together in their vile pronouncements, not because there is anything true in what they say, but because they need to construct a narrative where we are both worthy of their contempt, and hopefully, as they suggest, the contempt of others who hear about our experiences and testimonies.

There is another uncomfortable layer I must address from this harassment. Because I am ethnically Chinese, the surveillance people seem to feel more justified in their actions. In their logic, perhaps they believe that since Chinese people have not faced the same extent of historical systemic racism as some other groups, we are somehow more acceptable targets.

But this thinking is deeply flawed. Chinese people have absolutely faced racism. The inequities that continue to plague other groups are vile and deeply upsetting. No one should suffer racism, and the fact that some groups have been targeted more brutally does not make targeting any group acceptable.

What I truly want is a world where races help one another flourish. Where equity means lifting each other up, not justifying new cruelties based on old histories and current geopolitics. Their attempts to rationalize or justify their behaviour miss the point entirely. No amount of historical context makes their rituals acceptable. What they are doing is wrong, regardless of my ethnicity or anyone else's.

9.5.1 Why They Target This Relationship

To understand why they focus so intensely on my relationship with my mother, I need to explain what the past year has been like. Since they amplified their harassment, I have been through things no person should endure.

I have had genuine moments where I wanted to jump off my balcony. The situation felt unbearable. My mother witnessed this. It distressed her enormously, affecting her mental health. There were moments when she was not stable either, moments of extreme anger, thoughts of suicide, even saying in distress that she could hurt me. These moments do not define us. They were what this surveillance made of us in our weakest states.

But the American surveillance watchers recorded everything. And now they use it to discredit me.

They treat my suicidal thoughts and my mother's expressions of despair and anger as evidence that we can be dangerous to each other. They think they can destabilize us further, make us become what they accuse us of being.

More insidiously, they speak as if I am trying to drive my mother to death, or she me. They say they are trying to "make a witch" out of us.

9.5.2 The Complexity of Our Real Situation

Here is what they do not understand, or refuse to understand: my mother does not know the full extent of what I know. She does not experience surveillance the way I do. She does not hear what I hear, see what I see, feel what I feel. So of course, there are times when she doubts me. Of course, there are times when my reactions seem excessive to her. She is seeing the symptoms without being able to see the cause.

And I will be honest: there are times when I am not in control. When the harassment reaches a peak, when the voices and projections become unbearable, I have had episodes of extreme upset and anger. I have even, at times, repeated the perverse words they make me hear, not because those words are mine, but because when you are bombarded constantly with something, it comes out of you like poison.

My mother has witnessed this. And sometimes, it has made her harbour contempt toward me. Not because she is wicked, but because she is human. Because she is exhausted. Because she has been dealing with this for years without the full picture of what I actually go through, and what the surveillance people put me, her, and others in our family through.

And they target us specifically because we are vulnerable. We have limited societal connections. We face financial constraints. Our educational backgrounds do not give us platforms or credibility. We are, in the eyes of the world, people who can be targeted without much backlash. People are not paying attention to us. We are not relevant enough for anyone to care. And on top of all that, we have demonstrated, in our weakest moments, some "issues," some instability, some things that can be used to discredit us.

They think they can get away with it, but I believe that God will judge them with divine wrath.

9.5.3 The Strain on My Parents' Relationship

This surveillance has not only affected my relationship with my mother. It has also affected my parents' relationship with each other. My mother, in her distress and exhaustion, has sometimes displaced the anger she feels toward me onto my father, although he is also an active target of the surveillancers. He is not here. He is in China. He cannot defend himself. And so he becomes, at times, the target of frustrations that actually belong to the people doing this to us.

My parents are not divorced. They remain married. But this situation has tested their relationship in ways nothing else ever has. The distance, the stress, the constant pressure, it takes a toll. And the surveillance people, I believe, are aware of this too. They see every crack, every strain, every moment of tension. And they try to widen those cracks.

9.5.4 Why My Parents Don't Know the Full Extent

I need to explain why my parents do not know the full extent of what I experience, why I have not told them the details I am writing here.

The truth is, they would not believe the full extent of my harassment involving the cults, secret societies, and surveillance technologies. Not because they are unkind, but because what I am describing is entirely outside their frame of reference.

My parents are decent, basic civilians. They have limited social connections. They are not highly educated in ways that would give them context for surveillance technology, research capabilities, or the spiritual and religious knowledge I have had to learn to understand what is being done to me. Their understanding of the world is, in many ways, surface-level. And I mean that as a protection, not a criticism.

How would they cope if they truly knew? If they understood that their daughter is being watched constantly, mocked, violated, called vile names, projected with disgusting images? If they knew that people are trying to turn me against them, trying to ruin our relationship into something ugly and tragic?

Sometimes people cannot believe things because believing them would destroy them. My parents doubt my experiences because the alternative, accepting them as real, would be unbearable. They would have to confront their own powerlessness. They would have to live with knowing their daughter is suffering in ways they cannot fix nor would ever put me through intentionally.

So I do not tell them everything. I protect them from the full truth.

They see the effects. They see me ruminating on these abuses. They see me having episodes of extreme anger, saying things that disturb them, repeating words that come from somewhere they cannot understand. They see the symptoms without seeing the cause. That confusion is painful enough.

If they knew the cause, if they understood the elitism, racism, and classism surrounding this situation, the kinds of people doing this and why they think they can get away with it, it would break them. My parents are pure in ways that are rare. Learning how cruel people can be would change them, make them afraid in ways they have never been, make them cynical in ways they have never been.

I am grateful they do not know the full extent. I am grateful they can continue their lives relatively normally, even with the confusion of why their daughter struggles. I am grateful they do not understand the internet at all, that they are not online, that they do not encounter the kinds of people I have had to confront. Their ignorance is a blessing. Their simplicity is a shield.

And despite not understanding, despite doubting, despite sometimes being confused or frustrated with me, they have been extremely kind, thoughtful, and supportive. They have been free with my life decisions, allowing me to make my own choices even when they did not understand them. They have loved me consistently through all of this.

They do not know what I know. They cannot carry what I carry. And I thank God for that. Because if they could, it would mean they had been exposed to the same darkness. I would not wish that on anyone to be in my shoes, least of all the people who have loved me most.

So I carry these burdens with God, although the surveillance people still harass and monitor my relationship with Faith and the people in my life. My parents remain in their blessed ignorance, loving me as best they can, never fully understanding why their daughter is the way she is now.

9.5.5 What Holds Us Together

Despite all of this, we still go to church. We still have good friends at our local church who help hold our family together. Their presence, their prayers, their simple willingness to be with us has been a lifeline.

And in a strange turn, this experience has also allowed my mother to rekindle her relationship with some of her family in China, her sisters, in a positive way. There has been healing in unexpected places. There has been a connection where there was once distance. God works even in the midst of this.

9.6 Indications That My Father in China Is Also Targeted

They have indicated through their statements and manipulations of my dreams that they are also directing surveillance toward my father in China. While I cannot independently verify the full extent of this, they have implied that they are monitoring him and subjecting him to similar technological intrusion, likely at lower intensity so that he remains unaware, as they have done with my mother.

This pattern is consistent with their broader approach: extending surveillance beyond me to family members and those close to me. Their suggestions that they are engaging in remote monitoring, data collection, and psychological manipulation of my father, without his knowledge or consent, would, if true, constitute serious violations.

I rebuke these actions in the name of Jesus Christ. My father is a good man, and I pray for his protection.

9.7 Acknowledgment of My Own Responses

I acknowledge that throughout these years, I have said harsh things in response to their actions, including expressions of anger toward them and, by extension, toward the United States. I regret these responses, which occurred under conditions of prolonged stress and isolation. I recognize that the vast majority of Americans are not party to these actions and do not deserve such sentiment.

I repent of these failings and ask forgiveness for words spoken in anger that may have caused harm.

9.8 The Structure of Psychological Traps

Their methods appear designed to create situations from which there is no acceptable exit. If I resist, I am accused of wrongdoing. If I show distress, I am mocked. If I speak out, I risk being dismissed. If I attempt to maintain normal relationships, those relationships are targeted. The cumulative effect is an attempt to undermine stability and self-understanding.

9.9 Spiritual Significance and Personal Identity

From what I can discern, some of those involved appear to attribute spiritual significance to me, describing me in terms ranging from angelic to demonic. From my perspective, I am an ordinary person who believes in God and seeks to follow Jesus Christ. I am a Chinese Canadian woman who has made mistakes, seeks forgiveness, and relies on God's grace, sustained by family, friends, and the stable society in which I live.

I reject any affiliation with those who exploit others or promote racist ideologies, regardless of their accusations against me. I know myself to be a flawed human being in need of mercy, like everyone else.

9.10 The Range of Attitudes Among Those Involved

The individuals conducting this surveillance display varying attitudes toward me, though all contribute to a campaign of dehumanization and control.

9.10.1 Contempt Based on Ethnicity

Some regard me with what appears to be contempt based on my Chinese identity. They have made comparisons to historical examples of racial ideology and have shared observations about my behaviour, appearance, and expressions within their circles for purposes of mockery, often with racist overtones.

9.10.2 Human-trafficking Targeting

Others within the same network engage in what can only be described as systematic perverse targeting. This includes subjecting me to unwanted commentary and pressure to respond in ways that would feed their apparent gratification. When I do not comply, they use my lack of action to accuse me of complicity.

9.10.3 No Acceptable Response

The situation is structured such that any response is turned against me. Anger is used to portray me as unstable. Composure is used to portray me as deceptive or complicit. Awareness of their presence is used to claim affiliation. Attempts to ignore them result in escalation.

9.10.4 Documentation for Potential Blackmail

They document my reactions, my vulnerable moments, and my every move under immense stress and duress. Their stated intention is to use this material to discredit me should I speak publicly, to portray me as psychologically unstable, as having encouraged their behaviour, or as lying about my experiences. They have also documented the same moments during my mom's responses, and try to guilt trip me by often calling me heartless and lawless, for enduring the abuse they do to me and others around me (which they obviously tell me about, mostly about violence and assault) with their technology.

I state in good Faith that I have not engaged in the acts they pressure me to perform, have not intentionally encouraged their behaviour, and have responded as any person would under sustained siege.

9.10.5 The Common Element

Whether driven by racial contempt, exploitative gratification, abuse of power and surveillance abilities, or ideological hostility, the common thread is the treatment of another human being as an object for entertainment, data collection, and the reinforcement of their own sense of superiority. They are united not by method but by willingness to exploit and destroy for their own purposes.

I rebuke these intentions in the name of Jesus Christ. I am a human being made in the image of God, and no amount of manipulation can change that truth.

9.11 Their Attempt to Implant Unhealthy Thought Patterns

Their surveillance and manipulation are not passive. They actively try to subliminally implant unhealthy thought patterns into my mind, especially perverse perceptions of motherhood. Using their technology, they induce guilt, fear, and shame, and attempt to create lasting associations between normal experiences and perverse or disturbing imagery, along with adding accompanying invasive physiological sensations in groin and face areas, to try to make unhealthy associations and feelings.

They basically do the opposite of genuine therapeutic approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which seek to heal trauma and renew healthy thinking. What they do is deliberately destructive, an unethical and wicked attempt to break down mental health rather than restore it.

I have learned to recognize these attempts and reject them. But I mention this because it reveals their intent: not merely to surveil, but to corrupt and defile people, communities, and even nations. Do not be influenced by such patterns if you encounter them. Your mind is precious, and you need to be prudent and thoughtful about the type of information you consume through news, entertainment, art, knowledge, etc.

9.12 Their Attempt to Exploit and Disgrace

Some of these individuals harbor wicked intentions of making people disgraced, and alone, stripped of legitimacy in the eyes of society, to have mental health issues, to lack social and societal support, to be isolated and desperate. They think that by subjecting me to their evil rituals, their technological violations, their vile deepfakes, and their relentless harassment, they can influence my actions and behaviours, pushing me to think and do irrational things I would never do in my right state of mind. This is not just harassment; it is a calculated campaign to destroy a person's life, reputation, and soul.

As a person who follows God, who repents of my sins, and who wants nothing more than to live a decent, safe, and clean life, being subjected to this is an injustice. Jesus Christ, during His ministry, often sat and ate with sinners. He forgave those whom the Pharisees and Sadducees condemned, but He always added: "Go and sin no more" (John 8:11). He offered grace, but He also called people to repentance and transformation.

It is important to acknowledge, as a fellow believer in Jesus Christ, that while God forgives us of our sins, recognizing how terrible and sinful our characters can be, He also calls us to believe in Him, to be saved by grace, and to turn from our sins and live according to His ways. You cannot simply say you follow God and live a worldly life. That is not true salvation. True salvation requires acknowledging that we are saved by grace, not by works (Ephesians 2:8-9), but it should also reflect an outward behavioural change, an appreciation of God's teachings. Living a transformed life is the least we can do to show that we take Jesus Christ's word and God's presence seriously.

9.13 The Weaponization of Fear

A major component of their harassment is the deliberate exploitation of fear. They work to create an atmosphere of horror and dread, manipulating my emotions to make it difficult to think clearly, function in society, or maintain peace of mind. They try to make people angry, fearful, and unstable