On the Surveillance Operators' Virtue Signaling and Victim Narrative

  While I document my suffering, while I reveal their wickedness, while I sometimes say hateful, un-Christ-like things in my anger and disgust, directly clearly towards the surveillance operators, they are documenting me too and making these moments of response to make me seem like the bad guy.

They are compiling a composite of moments when I say things that are dark, angry, wicked, and sinful. They are recording my worst moments, the moments when the abuse has pushed me to the brink of fury, when I have cursed them, when I have said things I am not proud of. And they are using these moments to paint themselves as the victims.

Some of them will pretend to be the decent Christians being persecuted by me. They virtue signal. They act as if my anger is unprovoked, as if their 24/7 non-stop wicked harassment, including bodily, mind space, and voices, etc. of me has nothing to do with my responses. They curate a narrative where I am the bad person and they are the ones being persecuted.

This is calculated. This is deliberate. This is what abusers do.

They push you to the the brink. They provoke you. They torment you relentlessly. And then, when you finally break, when you say something angry, when you curse them, when you react to their evil, when you shout and curse at the top of your lungs, when you hit and smash things (i.e., inanimate objects) in your environment, when you spit, they point and say: "See? She is the evil one. She is the one cursing. She is the one saying wicked things. We are the decent Christians being persecuted by her."

This is why I must document everything. This is why I must provide context. Without context, my worst moments, the moments when I have been pushed to my limits, can be weaponized against me.

Let me be clear: I am not proud of everything I have said. I have said things in anger that I know are not Christ-like. I have cursed them. I have wished harm upon them in my darkest moments. I have been pushed to the edge of my sanity and beyond.

But I repent of my sins. I ask God for forgiveness. And I continue to strive toward goodness, toward truth, toward Christ.

They do not repent. They do not ask for forgiveness. They simply document my worst moments and use them to justify their own evil.

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