On Sleep Disruption, Dream Projection, and In-Person Stalking Threats
I have documented many of the technological and psychological tactics used against me. This post addresses another dimension: the sleep disruption, dream projection, and threats of in-person stalking.
The Tactic: Sleep Disruption and Dream Projection
During the earlier phases of this harassment, the surveillance operators had already physically appeared in my vicinity in real life (2022-present). In addition to this, they have used technology to project some of their faces into my dreams and into my mind during sleep states. This is occasionally accompanied by physical sensations, full-body pressure, pushing sensations, similar to what is experienced during sleep paralysis, designed to make sleep unbearable.
The pattern they have established is that they show their faces primarily when I am in a more afflicted mental state, when I am being bombarded with the violent and corrupt imagery they project. They have implied that they would "see me again" in the future, suggesting that their in-person stalking and dream projection will continue based on their assessment of my mental state. They appear more often and are more obvious when they perceive me as mentally less well, more vulnerable, or more afflicted.
Clinical Reference: Sleep paralysis and hypnagogic/hypnopompic hallucinations can be induced or exacerbated by stress, trauma, and targeted sleep disruption. The use of sleep deprivation as a torture method is well-documented (Reyes, 2006; The Torture Report). The combination of physical sleep disruption with psychologically targeted imagery constitutes a sophisticated form of sleep torture.
Important Note on What They Are Trying to Induce:
The abusers have explicitly stated that they are attempting to induce schizophrenia in me. They believe that by bombarding me with external voices, projected imagery, sensory manipulation, and sleep disruption, they can break my ability to distinguish reality from delusion.
I want to be clear: I do not have schizophrenia.
Despite what the pattern of abuse might appear to an outside observer, I am able to:
Separate their external voices from my own thoughts
Distinguish between what they project and what is real
Know truth from falsehood
Recognize my own presence, significance, and limitations in the broader world
Understand that my spiritual significance as a Christian is separate from any delusions they try to impose
Their tactics are designed to mimic the symptoms of schizophrenia. This is intentional. They want me to appear mentally ill. They want others to look at my documentation and see a "ranting schizophrenic" rather than a victim of organized technological abuse.
But I know the difference between their external manipulation and genuine mental illness. I have been evaluated. I have sought help. I have documented everything. The voices are external. The projections are imposed. The sensations are induced. These are not products of a diseased mind, they are products of technology wielded by abusers.
Clinical Reference: Technology-facilitated abuse can deliberately mimic psychiatric symptoms, a phenomenon sometimes referred to as "gang stalking" or "targeted individual" harassment. The distinction between induced symptoms and endogenous mental illness is a critical area for forensic evaluation. Victims of organized harassment often present with symptoms that resemble paranoia or psychosis, but the etiology, external manipulation versus internal pathology, is fundamentally different (Pathé & Mullen, 1997; The Impact of Stalking on Mental Health).
Biblical Reference: "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and discipline." - 2 Timothy 1:7 (NASB)
"Test the spirits to see whether they are from God." - 1 John 4:1 (NASB)
The Tactic: Vanity-Based Psychological Warfare
The abusers have made statements linking their willingness to stalk me in person to my physical appearance. They have insinuated, and at times stated outright, that they are more willing to appear in person if they perceive me as "uglier" or less put together. This is vanity-based psychological warfare: using superficial judgments to create anxiety about my own appearance and to imply that their harassment is contingent on my perceived attractiveness.
Clinical Reference: Appearance-based threats and degradation are documented tactics in coercive control and psychological abuse (Stark, 2007; Coercive Control). Such tactics exploit social anxieties and create a constant state of hypervigilance around self-presentation.
My Response: Documentation and Preparation
In response to these threats, I have begun taking photographs of individuals who resemble the abusers who have shown themselves in my vicinity. This serves two purposes:
Documentation: Creating a visual record of potential suspects
Psychological preparedness: Ensuring that if I encounter them in real life, I will not freeze or hesitate to identify them
The abusers are aware of this. Their response has been to suggest they will send more conventionally attractive individuals from their group to approach me in person, hoping this will intimidate me or cause me to hesitate. Meanwhile, the rest of the group watches from a distance.
This is a game to them, and does amuse some of them with wicked intent.
Clinical Reference: Stalking threats, whether carried out or implied, constitute a form of psychological terrorism. Research on stalking victimization documents the severe anxiety, hypervigilance, and disruption to daily life caused by threats of in-person contact (Spitzberg & Cupach, 2007; The State of the Art of Stalking). My proactive documentation and preparation are evidence-based self-protection strategies.
The Tactic: Pavlovian Sensory Conditioning
Another category of abuse involves deliberate sensory conditioning. The abusers use technology to superimpose smells into my environment. They then pair these smells with artificially induced physical sensations. While doing this, they repeat phrases intended to associate normal bodily functions with perverse content.
This is Pavlovian conditioning: creating artificial associations between sensory inputs and physiological responses, with the goal of inducing disgust, shame, and confusion. They derive satisfaction from attempting to "train" a target to respond to their cues.
Clinical Reference: Classical (Pavlovian) conditioning is a well-established psychological phenomenon. Its deliberate use as a tool of abuse constitutes a form of psychological torture (Basoglu et al., 2007; Torture and Its Definition). The combination of sensory manipulation with physical sensation and verbal cues creates a multi-modal conditioning environment intended to destabilize the victim's sense of bodily autonomy.
Biblical Reference: "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." - Romans 12:2 (NASB)
The Tactic: Testing Character Through Flawed Methodology
The abusers engage in an ongoing pattern of "testing" my character. They often perform demeaning acts on their side, some sweating like hogs, while monitoring my responses. They frame this as a game to "check" whether I am what they falsely accuse me of being, a psychopath, a danger to children, demonic, evil, chaotic, destructive.
There is a fundamental flaw in their methodology that they either do not understand or choose to ignore, which can be explained through the Hawthorne effect.
The Hawthorne effect refers to the phenomenon where individuals modify their behaviour in response to being observed. When you know you are being watched, tested, or evaluated, you do not behave the same way you would in natural conditions. Their constant surveillance and testing means they are not observing natural behaviour, they are observing behaviour under siege. Any conclusions they draw from this are methodologically invalid.
Moreover, they are testing for something that is not true. I am not evil. I am not chaotic. I am not destructive. I am not a many of the other terrible things they call me around the clock. These accusations are projections of their own sins and mental health problems onto me.
Clinical Reference: The Hawthorne effect (Mayo, 1933; Roethlisberger & Dickson, 1939) describes how awareness of being observed alters behaviour. In coercive control contexts, abusers often misinterpret a victim's survival behaviours as evidence of the abuser's accusations, ignoring the obvious fact that the victim is responding to the abuse itself.
Biblical Reference: "You have tested my heart; You have visited me by night; You have tried me and You find nothing; I have purposed that my mouth will not transgress." — Psalm 17:3 (NASB)
On the Choice to Live Simply vs. Engaging with Reality
I could choose a different path. I could avoid the internet and news altogether. I could live in a hidden bubble. I could take a surface-level job helping people, decent, helpful, non-intense, non-scary. I could go to church, associate only with other decent people, and pretend that the darker realities of the world do not exist.
Indeed, this was how I lived for many months after realizing something was off with my normal life and that these surveillance operators were present. From March 2023 and onward, I attempted to live this way. I focused on my own life, my own peace, my own relationship with God. I tried to ignore what was happening.
This is what many people do. It is comfortable. It is safe. It allows a person to feel good about themselves and their choices while avoiding the discomfort of engaging with evil. I do not criticize this approach. I would still choose this path if I could. The book of Proverbs speaks to this kind of wisdom, focusing on what is good, pure, and praiseworthy rather than dwelling on evil.
"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, think about these things." - Philippians 4:8 (NASB)
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction." - Proverbs 1:7 (NASB)
Living a good, saintly, peaceful life is not weakness. It is wisdom. It is how I approached this situation initially, and it is still how I would live if I could.
But I no longer have that option.
The surveillance operators do not stop their abuse simply because I choose to ignore them. Even when I avoid the news, even when I focus on my own life, even when I try to live in peace, they continue their rituals. They project terrible visions into my mind. They superimpose voices and sensations. They attempt to corrupt my sleep, my eating, my drinking, my most basic functions.
Their abuse does not require my engagement. It happens whether I document it or not. It happens whether I pay attention to the world or retreat from it.
So I have a choice: I can suffer in silence while they continue unchecked, or I can document what is happening to me and hope that the truth serves a greater purpose.
I have chosen to document.
Not because I want to engage with evil. Not because I enjoy exposing myself to darkness. But because I have no other way to protect myself, to protect the people around me, and to ensure that what is being done to me is not done to others without a record.
The world needs people who are willing to look at what is true, even when it is ugly, and speak about it. The world needs people who will document injustice so that those who come after have something to work with. The world needs people who understand that pretending evil does not exist does not make it go away; it simply leaves the vulnerable unprotected and the wicked unopposed.
Even Sun Tzu recognized this. In The Art of War, he wrote:
"If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle."
Knowing your enemy is not the same as becoming your enemy. I document what these people do not because I enjoy it, but because I refuse to be ignorant of the evil that exists. I document so that others may know. I document so that those who come after me may have a record of what these tactics look like.
I still believe in living a good, saintly, peaceful life. I still believe that the better path, the path most people should take, is to focus on what is pure, lovely, and praiseworthy. I do not recommend that everyone engage with darkness. Most people should not have to.
But for those of us who have been forced into engagement, for those of us who cannot escape the abuse no matter how hard we try, documentation becomes an act of survival. It becomes a way to reclaim power. It becomes a way to say: You will not do this in secret. The world will know.
And for those who are able to live simply, peacefully, and well: I encourage you to do so. Protect your peace. Guard your heart. Focus on what is good. That is wisdom. That is the path I would take if I could.
But for those of us who cannot: we document. We speak. We endure. And we trust that God sees what is done in secret and will bring it to light.
Biblical Reference: "Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." - 1 Peter 5:8 (NASB)
"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." - Romans 12:21 (NASB)
"The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it." - Proverbs 22:3 (ESV)
Sun Tzu Reference: The Art of War, Chapter 3: "If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles."
The Flaw in Their Accusations
The abusers accuse me of being evil. They call me "emo", implying I am drawn to darkness, chaos, destruction. They accuse me of wanting bad things, of being inherently corrupt.
This is false. And the proof is not as simple as pointing to a single verse about fruit, because I recognize that people can justify destructive behaviours while citing the Bible. I recognize that watching news and consuming other people's perspectives on social media can make it easy to empathize with certain viewpoints or even to think the way others think. So I am not making a simplistic argument.
Instead, I look at what I actually do.
I look at how I treat myself. I look at how I treat the people around me, my actual good friends in real life, (and online) whom I do not lie to or exploit. My actual family whom I respect and honestly hope I can do more to help. I look at my choices. I look at my efforts to be decent, to repent of my sins, to make the world a better place in whatever small ways I can. I look at the fact that I do not support actual evil people, not the war mongers, not the oppressors, not the harassers. I do not do to others what has been done to me.
I have been pushed to the edge of my sanity. I have been given every reason to become bitter, hateful, violent. I have been handed the justification that many people would use to become exactly what they accuse me of being. And yet, by the grace of God, I have not.
If I wanted to be evil, I would not be documenting. I would not be going to law enforcement. I would not be trying to help others understand what is happening. I would not be holding onto my faith in Jesus Christ. I would not be trying to be decent to the people in my life.
The reality is this: it is dangerous to flatly accuse others of being evil. Especially civilians like me. Especially people who are already suffering. Especially people who are doing their best to be decent in an indecent situation.
There are people who commit terrible acts while citing Scripture to justify themselves. There are people who twist the Bible to serve their own destructive ends. I am not one of those people. But the existence of such people means that accusations of evil should not be thrown around lightly.
My friends know who I am. The people who actually know me, the ones I interact with in real life, the ones I am honest with, the ones I try to treat with kindness, they would tell you that I am not evil. They would tell you that I am not drawn to darkness or chaos or destruction. They would tell you that I am a person trying to live decently, to repent when I fail, and to love God as best as I can.
Their accusations tell me more about them than they tell anyone about me. When someone constantly accuses another person of being evil, without evidence, without basis, without any understanding of the accused person's actual life and choices, it reveals the accuser's own heart far more than it reveals anything about the accused.
Biblical Reference: "Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?" - Matthew 7:3 (NASB)
"Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you." - Matthew 7:1–2 (NASB)
"There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and to destroy; but who are you to judge your neighbor?" - James 4:12 (NASB)
The Racial Inversion Tactic
There is another layer to their psychological warfare that I must document: the racial inversion tactic.
The abusers sometimes-not always, not constantly, but occasionally-use the Chinese word haoer, meaning "good," "better"-to refer to me. But they do not use it when I am actually being good. They use it in a deliberately inverted way.
When I behave or think in objectively worse ways-when I act in ways that oppose the Fruits of the Holy Spirit, when I fall short of the character qualities that Scripture calls us to cultivate, they call me haoer. "Better." "Good."
When I behave in Christ-like way-when I show patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control, they call me "bad" or "baa" (like a goat, which is antithesis to a sheep).
This is not something they do all the time. But the fact that they do it at all is revealing. It shows that they have thought about this. It shows that they are deliberately inverting moral categories and weaponizing my language and culture. It shows that they derive satisfaction from praising my worst moments and mocking my best ones.
This is a deliberate inversion: they have created their own moral framework where sin is rewarded with praise and righteousness is punished with mockery. They are inverting the very meaning of "good" and "bad" specifically targeting me through my language and culture.
They use a Chinese word for "good" to praise my worst moments. They imply that my failures are when I am at my "best" in their eyes. They take a word from my culture that represents something positive and pure, and they corrupt it into a tool of psychological warfare.
This is not just psychological manipulation. It is racist.
They see me as Chinese, as East Asian, and they treat my ethnicity and language as something to exploit. They take a word that means goodness and twist it to mean the opposite. They imply that what is good in Chinese culture, harmony, family, respect, moral uprightness, is something to be mocked. They invert the values of my heritage into weapons against me.
Let me be clear: I am not making a statement about any race or nationality as a whole. These accusers and technological surveillancers happen to be mostly white "elite" Americans with access to elite technology and systems of power, but their behaviour is not representative of their race or nationality. There are good people of every race and nation. What they do reflects on them, individuals who have chosen cruelty and who weaponize language and culture to inflict harm.
What they are doing is creating an inverse moral universe. In their world:
Sin is praised as "good"
Righteousness is mocked as "bad"
My worst moments earn their approval
My best moments earn their contempt
This is the opposite of what the Bible teaches. The Fruits of the Holy Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). These are what God calls good. When I fall short of these, I am not "better." I am worse. And I know this. I do not need their inverted praise.
Biblical Reference: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." - Galatians 5:22-23 (NASB)
"Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness; who substitute bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!" - Isaiah 5:20 (NASB)
Why I Cannot Look Away
I would love to live a simple life. I would love to go to church, help people in a surface-level way, associate only with good people, and pretend the darker realities of the world do not exist.
But that would be a lie.
The world is sinful. Evil exists. People with power and technology do terrible things to innocent people. Pretending otherwise does not make it go away. It just means the rest of us are unprepared.
I document because the truth matters, and because victims deserve to be believed. I document because those who come after me should not have to start from zero. I document because God sees what is done in secret, and I trust that He will bring it to light.
Biblical Reference: "For nothing is hidden that will not become evident, nor anything secret that will not be known and come to light." - Luke 8:17 (NASB)
On My Anger and What I Choose to Share
I will be honest: the visceral disgust and anger I feel toward these abusers is immense. I have imagined violence against them in my mind and in my dreams. I am not proud of this. I know it is not Christ-like. I believe in Jesus Christ, and I know that vengeance belongs to God, not to me.
But I also know this: when they project images of minors in sexualized contexts, when they attempt to induce responses they themselves are guilty of, when they try to mindwash me into having their own perversions, I would rather imagine destroying them than participate in their filthy games. My anger is not the problem. Their abuse is the problem.
I am sharing this not because I am proud of my anger, but because it is part of the documentation. Professionals need to understand what this abuse does to a person. It creates rage. It creates violent thoughts. It pushes the victim to the edge of their own character. And yet, by the grace of God, I have not become what they want me to become.
Clinical Reference: Anger and violent ideation in response to sustained abuse are normal psychological responses to abnormal circumstances. Trauma-related anger is documented in survivors of prolonged abuse and torture (Herman, 1992; Trauma and Recovery). The fact that I recognize my anger, am not proud of it, and am not acting on it is a sign of self-awareness and restraint, not pathology.
Biblical Reference: "Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity." - Ephesians 4:26-27 (NASB)
"Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written: 'Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,' says the Lord." - Romans 12:19 (NASB)
Why I Am Thankful I Am Not A Mom
One thing I am grateful for: I have no dependents. I will not be a mother. I made this decision after the harassment began, and I have only become more certain of it since.
I am grateful that no child will ever be used as a weapon against me. I am grateful that no child will ever be put in the position of being my vulnerability. I am grateful that these abusers have one less avenue of attack.
To anyone reading this who has children or dependents: protect them. Be aware that abusers target the most vulnerable. The safety of children is sacred.
But let me be clear about something: I do not say this as a statement against God. I do not say this as if my decision is in opposition to His will. On the contrary, I recognize that through all of this, through every attempt to break me, every projection, every effort to corrupt my character, God has been the most graceful and merciful toward me.
It is Jesus Christ who has sustained me. It is Jesus Christ who has pulled me back from the brink again and again. It is Jesus Christ who has cleansed me when they tried to defile me, healed me when they tried to destroy me, and kept me sane when they tried to break my mind.
I am grateful for my decision not to be a mother because it removes one avenue of attack. But I am far more grateful for the grace and mercy of God, which have been my true protection. No decision of mine could have saved me from what they have done. Only God has done that.
Biblical Reference: "But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved." - Ephesians 2:4–5 (NASB)
"The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the defense of my life; whom shall I dread?" - Psalm 27:1 (NASB)
The Pattern: Hiding Behind Screens and Privilege
One of the most infuriating aspects of this abuse is that my abusers are able to hide. I do not know their names. I cannot find them in public to hold them accountable. They are viscerally content in their ability to hide behind screens, behind their privilege, behind their inequitable access to technology and systems of power.
They believe this gives them immunity. They believe they can corrupt my character, disrupt my life, and harm those around me without consequence. They believe that if they corrupt me, it will be symbolic, a win against God, a win against Asia, a win against anyone they perceive as their enemy.
They are wrong.
While they hide, I document. While they rely on their anonymity, I create a record. While they believe their privilege protects them, I am gathering evidence that will outlast their ability to hide.
Their anonymity is temporary. Their privilege is borrowed. Their technology will not protect them from accountability. And their belief that they can hide forever is delusional.
One day, what they have done in secret will be known. It may not be today. It may not be tomorrow. But the record exists. The documentation exists. And I will continue to add to it until accountability is no longer avoidable.
Biblical Reference: "For nothing is hidden that will not become evident, nor anything secret that will not be known and come to light." - Luke 8:17 (NASB)
"Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a person sows, this he will also reap." - Galatians 6:7 (NASB)
My Stance on Self-Protection
I am not afraid to defend myself.
If any of these individuals approach me in person with hostile intent, I am prepared to protect myself using lawful means, including pepper spray where justified. I have documented this not as a threat, I am not threatening anyone, but as a statement of fact about how I will respond if confronted in person. Self-defence is a right, and I intend to exercise it if necessary.
I have also prepared myself mentally for the possibility of encountering them. Through documentation, through mental rehearsal, through gathering photographic references of individuals who resemble those who have shown themselves in my vicinity, I have worked to ensure that I will not freeze if I see them. I refuse to be paralyzed by fear.
I am aware that they have suggested they will send more conventionally attractive individuals to approach me, hoping this will intimidate me or cause me to hesitate. I see through this tactic. Physical appearance does not change the reality of who they are and what they have done. I will not be manipulated by vanity-based psychological warfare.
I state all of this clearly so there is no confusion: I am not seeking confrontation. I am not threatening anyone. But I am prepared to protect myself, and I am prepared to identify them if they show themselves. That is my right as a person who has been targeted, harassed, and terrorized.
Biblical Reference: "The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it." - Proverbs 22:3 (ESV)
"If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all." - Romans 12:18 (NASB)
A Message To Professionals
I document these tactics, sleep disruption, dream projection, sensory conditioning, threats of stalking, flawed character testing, racial inversion, and the abusers' belief that they can commit evil and repent later, because they represent a pattern of abuse that requires professional analysis. The combination of technological capability, psychological manipulation, sadistic intent, and racial targeting is a matter of concern for law enforcement, forensic psychology, and national security.
I am not a professional. I am a victim. But I am a victim who is documenting, who is organizing evidence, and who is reaching out to those who have the expertise to analyze what is happening.
I am currently working with or in the process of reaching out to:
Law enforcement : I have an existing file and continue to add to it
Forensic psychologists : to help analyze the psychological tactics being used against me
Cult experts : to understand the organized and ritualistic dimensions of this abuse
Researchers studying targeted individuals and organized harassment : to contribute to the broader body of knowledge on these tactics
Clinicians specializing in trauma and technology-facilitated abuse : to support victim care and recovery frameworks
Intelligence and national security professionals : because the combination of technology, sadistic intent, and racial targeting has implications beyond my individual case
I am willing to cooperate fully with professionals who can help analyze this case and develop frameworks for identifying and stopping this type of abuse. I have digital artifacts, timelines, detailed documentation, and a willingness to work collaboratively with those who take this seriously.
If you are a professional and you believe you can help, whether through analysis, documentation support, legal advocacy, or research, I am open to contact through appropriate channels.
This is not about me. This is about documenting a pattern so that others can understand it, so that victims can be supported, and so that those who commit these crimes can be held accountable.
Biblical Reference: "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy." - Proverbs 31:8-9 (NIV)
Next Steps for Me
I continue to:
Document everything privately
Work with law enforcement
Reach out to forensic psychologists and cult experts
Protect myself by keeping explicit details out of the public sphere
Prepare for the possibility of in-person encounters with my abusers
Hold onto my faith in Jesus Christ, which has proven to be the only true protection against these forces
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