On Protecting My Relationship with My Mother
A Documentation of Ongoing Harassment
I am writing this as part of my ongoing series documenting my experiences as a targeted individual. This is one of the most difficult posts I have written.
What Has Been Bothering Me Most
What has been bothering me most about this entire ordeal is how the surveillance operators target my relationship with my mother. They do not just harass me. They make it clear that they are surveilling and harassing her as well, though thankfully with the signals tuned down so she cannot see or hear them the way I do.
They attempt to use her to get to me — to upset me, to trigger me, to spoil our relationship. They try to turn us against one another.
They accuse me of terrible things regarding my mother. They call me complicit in her suffering. They suggest that I am somehow responsible for what they do to her. They imply that she and I are destined to harm each other.
This is a disturbing lie.
The Tactics They Use
Some of these operators harbor harmful thoughts toward both me and my mother. They focus much of their cruelty on trying to get us to hurt one another.
They try to implant unwanted and intrusive thoughts of harming her, of her harming me, of us destroying each other. They speak of "true crime" scenarios as if they are hoping I will become one — hoping our relationship will become some case they can point to.
They want us to break.
Why I Am Writing This Clearly
I am writing this out clearly to take away their power and to shed light on what they are doing.
I have already sent these statements to human rights organizations, to ministry agencies, to journals abroad, extending beyond Canada to include the US, China, and other nations. I am letting officials know about the type of surveillance and harassment that exists.
Given my situation — where the surveillance operators have demonstrated they can cause real harm — it is better that I record and share these experiences than to take them with me to my grave.
My Mom: Who She Really Is
My mom is a wonderful woman. She is decent, hardworking, kind, gentle, and brave. She has supported me spiritually, emotionally, and practically ever since I returned to Montreal from New York in 2024. She has helped me with finances, with daily living, with maintaining our church relationships. She has been there for me through some of the darkest moments of my life.
But she is also human. Like anyone, she is capable of anger. She has her own fears about the future, her own anxieties, her own struggles. She does not know the full extent of what the surveillance operators do. She sees the symptoms — my distress, my need for space — but she cannot see the cause.
She is decent and kind. I would not want her to be affected without others knowing what we endure.
My Fears
I have immense fears about accidentally hurting my mom, or her hurting me. Not because I think either of us wants to, but because I know what these operators are capable of. They have the technology to influence moods, to induce anger, to create confusion, to push people toward the edge.
These fears have been with me for so long. I have confessed them to psychologists, to psychiatrists, to some of my friends, to my parents themselves, to the police, and to God. I have been transparent about what I feel, what I fear, and what they try to make me think. I have been told, repeatedly, that these are not my thoughts — they are intrusions, projections, weapons.
I am not being cryptic. I am not planning anything wicked. I am a daughter who loves her mother and is doing everything she can to protect both of us from people who seem to want us to destroy each other.
I believe God will protect us from such evil intent. I praise God for His protection and goodness in our lives, in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
On the Worst Outcome They Hope For
The worst outcome of this situation, from my perspective, would be if people label me as a case of mental illness and speculate lies about my mom being abusive toward me — internalizing things my mom has never done to me as if they were true. That is their goal.
Growing up, since graduating high school, I lived alone throughout college and university, and alone in New York City with strangers as roommates. My mom is not coercive, controlling, or abusive at all. In recent years, since my trauma from New York City, she has been more prudent and cautious with me, but that is out of care, not control.
The operators hope that she and I would seem unstable, or that we would look like a dysfunctional family, if we were to accidentally harm one another or jump from our balcony. Over these months living in our new place, we have had major fights at night. I have had many sleepless nights, and so has she, because the US surveillancers specifically target me during nights to cause distress. This leads to restless nights, shouting matches, and minor conflicts between us.
They hope to orchestrate — at least some of them do — a situation where she or I lose control. Then they want society to label and dismiss our case as some internal family conflict and mental illness, and move on.
I repeat: what happened to me has nothing to do with my mom. She is truly decent. I have not even lived with her for most of my life since 2016, after moving to Montreal from Toronto to pursue higher education. I have normal friends. I go to school. I do not affiliate with cults online or offline.
But COVID-19 was difficult. And New York City was a different story. I did not pursue these people, nor did they pursue me in any normal sense. They did this at a distance, though they followed me around the city and even to Costa Rica on my trip in 2024 with a real-life high school friend I went there with.
What I Want You to Know
I love my mom. A lot.
Thankfully, the people in my real life — my church friends, the people who know us — can see that. They see us together. They see how we care for each other. They know that whatever the surveillance operators try to project onto us, the truth is simpler: we are a mother and daughter who love each other, who have been through hard times, and who are still here.
I am writing this as evidence. Evidence that I love my mom. Evidence that I reject the lies about our relationship. Evidence that I am trying — imperfectly, but genuinely — to be a decent daughter in an unethical situation that none of us asked for.
A Call for Help
I am writing this as a call for help.
Since my return to Montreal from New York in 2024, although my mom has been extremely supportive, she does not realize the full extent of what the surveillance operators are doing.
I have immense fears about our relationship. That is why I completely give her to God, to Jesus Christ.
I know that from outsiders' perspectives, we are just strangers. Most people only really care about their own families. But I am calling for help nonetheless. Because this situation is real. Because these operators are real. Because my love for my mom is real.
My Blessing
I bless my parents with grace, love, protection, safety, and everything good in the name of Jesus Christ.
I know that the things they are enduring without their knowledge at the hands of these operators will be judged. God will not forget them, nor the wrongs they are put through. Nor will God forget anyone else touched by this situation.
I pray this in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
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