On Power, Control, and the Attempt to Rewrite My Reality
Their Obsession with Power
The surveillance operators are obsessed with power. This is evident in everything they do. They have access to technology that most people cannot imagine, and they use it not for good but to terrorize. They believe that having this technology justifies using it. They believe that their position, whatever it is, gives them the right to intrude on lives, to project filth into minds, to try to break people.
This is not power. This is pathology. A person who believes they are justified to spy on others simply because they have the capability is not powerful. They are unwell. They are narcissists who have mistaken access for authority, technology for righteousness.
Their obsession with power reveals itself in how they try to control the smallest details of daily life. They cannot simply observe. They must influence. They must manipulate. They must make their presence felt in every decision, every habit, every ordinary act.
The Tactic: Policing Minor Details
Consider something as simple as skincare. I use a face serum for acne and dark spots. It is a normal product, used by countless people for normal reasons. The operators call it "baby elixir."
When I continue to use the serum, because it is expensive, because it helps my skin, because there is nothing wrong with using it, they claim this is evidence of mental illness. They say my persistence proves an obsession. They twist a normal act of self-care into something pathological.
They do the same with food. I eat normal human food. But if a food has a certain shape or colour, they attribute it to something corrupt. They try to make me see what they see, to think what they think, to be disgusted by what is ordinary.
This is not about the serum or the food. This is about control. They want to make me doubt my own choices. They want to make me feel that nothing I do is neutral, that every action is subject to their bad interpretations, that they have a say in how I live, and a reason to call me disgusting, among other terms.
The Tactic: Using Reflection Against Me
When I reflect on how cruel, manipulative, and gross they are, they twist this too. They claim that my reflection is "sowing doubt" over my own character and my love for Jesus Christ. They try to make me believe that thinking critically about their abuse is a sign of weakness, that questioning what they do is a failure of faith.
This is obvious mind washing. God gave me a mind. God expects me to use it. God does not demand blind acceptance of abuse. The ability to reflect, to discern, to see evil for what it is, these are gifts, not flaws.
The operators do this because they see that I am not prone to mind washing. They see that I am not easily manipulated. So they try to gain traction through these small things, the serum, the food, the reflection, hoping that if they cannot break me directly, they can at least make their presence felt in every corner of my life. They want to feel relevant. They want to believe they are playing a part in my decisions.
They are not.
What I Know to Be True
I know I am not like them. I know this because I do not do what they do. I do not project perverse images onto others. I do not try to control people through shame and disgust. I do not stalk, harass, or terrorize.
If someone were doing normal things and some disgusting pervert cursed them with death and hell images, told them they were thinking of these things, the sane response is not to change your habits. The sane response is to recognize that the problem is not with you. It is with them.
Jesus Christ already died for my sins. He also died for the sins of those who try to influence my life. I do not have to change for them. I live according to my own standards, my own values, my own relationship with God. I am not doing the disgusting things they imagine. I am not a bully. I am not a cursed presence in others' lives. So what do I care what these enemies think?
What They Hope to Achieve
They hope that I will become mentally ill enough to not care. They hope that I will become so broken that I allow them to get away with crimes against humanity, crimes against God, crimes against basic decency. They hope that their obsession with certain women, women they believe like being treated like shit, will be validated. They hope that their delusions, their inability to read signals and emotions, their lack of basic human decency, will be rewarded.
They hope to make me seem like the complicit victim. The one who asked for it. The one who wanted it. The one who is secretly like them.
I am not.
What the Evidence Shows
You cannot find actual people in my real life who would say these things about me. Children, youth, older people alike, none of them would say I do what the operators do. None of them would say I have ever treated anyone the way I am being treated. Even online, as far as I am aware, I have not treated people this way. The worst I can say about my online history is that I browsed 4chan during my teenage years, and even that I feel grossly guilty about.
But guilt about being a teenager on the internet is not evidence of being a predator. It is evidence of being a teenager on the internet.
What I Will Do
I will go to the police. I will go to intelligence agencies in Canada and China. I will go to legitimate professionals who can help. I will go on social media if I need to. I will cancel people if that is what it takes. I will get restraining orders against anyone who treats me or others this way in real life.
I will not let them mind-wash me into silence. I will not become so mentally ill that I stop caring. I will not allow them to get away with crimes against humanity, against God, against the basic dignity of human beings.
Their obsession with Jesus Christ is a cruel joke. It is a slap in His face. It is an act of desecration and wickedness. They claim to care about faith while doing the most faithless things imaginable. They project their own perversions onto me while pretending to be righteous.
I will not let them.
A Final Reflection
I write this not because I think my inner psychology is fascinating. I write this because I know what it is like to be made to feel that every small thing you do is being watched, judged, twisted. I write this because I know what it is like to be told that your ordinary habits are evidence of pathology. I write this because I know what it is like to have people try to insert themselves into your life, your mind, your decisions, and to be told that resisting is a sign of illness.
If you are experiencing something similar, you are not alone. You are not crazy. You do not have to change for them.
God knows who you are. God sees the truth. And God is not fooled by people who twist ordinary things into weapons.
Hold onto your faith. Hold onto your sanity. Hold onto the truth of who you are. Do not let them rewrite your reality.
My Rebuke
I rebuke their obsession with power. I rebuke their attempts to control the small details of my life. I rebuke their twisting of normal acts into something perverse. I rebuke their lies about my childhood. I rebuke their hope that I will become mentally ill and complicit.
I declare in the name of Jesus Christ:
I am not your creation. I am not your fantasy. I am not your victim to be broken. I am a daughter who loves her mother. I am a survivor who documents. I am a human being who will not let you win.
Their lies will not define me. Their attempts to rewrite my reality will not succeed. Their need to believe I am complicit will not become true.
I know who I am. I know what I have done and what I have not done. I know my intentions. And I know that God sees the truth, even when they try to bury it in lies.
In the name of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Saviour, amen.
References & Notes
On Power and Control
The obsession with controlling minor details of a victim's life is a documented tactic in coercive control and cult abuse. Abusers seek to insert themselves into every aspect of the victim's existence—what they eat, what they wear, how they care for themselves—to create a sense of constant surveillance and dependency (Stark, 2007; Coercive Control; Hassan, 1988; Combatting Cult Mind Control).
On False Narratives and Projection
Abusers frequently construct false narratives about their victims' past to justify their abuse. This serves multiple purposes: it gives the abuser a sense of moral justification, it confuses the victim about their own history, and it creates a framework in which the abuse appears as "justice" rather than cruelty (Herman, 1992; Trauma and Recovery).
Biblical References
Isaiah 54:17 "No weapon that is formed against you will succeed."
Psalm 7:15–16 "He has dug a pit and hollowed it out, and has fallen into the hole which he made. His mischief will return upon his own head."
Galatians 6:7 "Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a person sows, this he will also reap."
Romans 12:2 "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."
Philippians 4:8 "Whatever is true, honourable, right, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, praiseworthy, think about these things."
Psalm 27:1 "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?"
A Disclaimer After Reading
I am aware that this blog, and especially posts like this one, may seem too self-obsessed. I am aware that most people are not interested in the nitty-gritty details of someone else's inner psychology, their daily habits, or the minute ways abusers try to manipulate them. I am aware that reading about someone else's struggle with harassment and psychological warfare can feel uncomfortable, excessive, or even self-indulgent.
But I write this anyway.
I write this because I believe these experiences are more relatable than people realize. I write this because there are others out there, maybe reading this, who are going through similar things. Who are being gaslit. Who are being told that their normal habits are evidence of pathology. Who are being made to feel that every small choice is subject to the judgment of people who have no right to judge them.
I write this because documenting how to combat this wickedness while holding onto faith in Jesus Christ is valuable. I write this because healing and normalcy are possible, and sometimes seeing someone else's path through the darkness helps light the way for others.
If this post feels too detailed, too focused on me, I understand. Skip it. But if you are someone who has been made to feel that your ordinary life is being scrutinized, that your choices are being twisted into evidence against you, that your sanity is being questioned by people who have no right to question it, then maybe something here will help. You are not alone. You are not crazy. And you do not have to change for them.
Comments
Post a Comment