On Hypocrisy and Mediocrity

 The operators accuse me of being a hypocrite. They claim that I present myself as something I am not, that I pretend to be good while secretly being evil, that I act pure while hiding perversion, that my Faith is a mask for wickedness.

This accusation is not new. It is a classic tactic: project your own hypocrisy onto your victim, then attack them for it.

What I Actually Believe

I am a sinner. I have never claimed otherwise. I have made mistakes. I have said things I regret. I have behaved in ways I am not proud of. I do not pretend to be pure, to be an angel, to be better than anyone else.

What I am is saved. Not by my own works, not by my own goodness, but by the grace of God through Jesus Christ. That is the core of my faith: I cannot save myself. I do not pretend to. I rely entirely on grace.

The operators want to paint me as someone who claims to be perfect. I have never claimed that. They want to expose a hypocrisy that does not exist. Their accusation tells me more about them than it does about me.

On Living a Mediocre Life

I am grateful for the life I have. I live in Canada. I have freedom. I have autonomy over my body, my choices, my relationships. I have a few decent close friends. I have family in Canada and China who I trust. I am not constrained by archaic norms or traditions. I am blessed not to be a mother, a choice that is mine, and one that I am grateful for.

I want to live an ordinary life. 

There is virtue in mediocrity. There is peace in not striving for power, for status, for recognition. There is goodness in living quietly, doing meaningful work, enjoying the simple things, reading, nature, time with people you love. This is how most of my family lives. They are not involved in politics or high-stakes decision-making. They enjoy normal aspects of life. They find contentment in what is ordinary.

I'd like to believe that life is inherently better than another in the eyes of God. We are all valued equally. But it is a sobering reality to look at the world and see how inequitable it is. The disparities are vast. The unfairness is staggering. We cannot even fully grasp how wicked the world can be to some people, how much suffering exists that we never see.

Yet even in the face of this, there is hope. Jesus Christ said that the first will be last and the last will be first. Those who are overlooked, forgotten, considered mediocre by the world's standards, they are seen by God. This should comfort us.

But comfort is not enough. Even as I write these words, I know they do not fully address the inequities and wickedness in the world. God comforts me, and God comforts many people. But comfort does not fix what is broken. Comfort does not stop the exploitation, the violence, the suffering that so many endure.

There are no easy words for what should be done. There is no simple answer to the question of how to make the world more equitable for the billions of people who are struggling. I do not have the solutions. I do not have the power to change entire systems. I am just one person, living an ordinary life.

But I know that ignoring the inequities is not the answer. Pretending they do not exist does not make them go away. Acknowledging that I do not have the answers does not mean I should stop caring.

What I can do is live with integrity. I can treat people with decency. I can document what has been done to me so that others might understand. I can hold onto my faith and hope that God's justice is real, even when I cannot see it. I can be a small pillar of goodness in a world that often feels overwhelming.

That is not a grand solution. It is not enough to fix everything. But it is something. And for now, it is what I have.

The operators are furious that God has given me this. They are furious that my family in China lives a decent life. They are furious that we have not been destroyed by the horrors they wish upon us. They want to accuse me of the worst things, killing, exploitation, perversion, because they cannot stand that I am surviving and healing.

What I Know About Myself

I know who I am. I know my intentions. I know my history. I know that I have not done what they accuse me of. I know that my parents are kind, trying, understanding Christians. I know that my ancestry is decent. I know that God sees all of this.

The operators do not know me. They have constructed a fantasy of who I am. Their accusations are projections. Their lies are not truth.

I call myself out before they can. I acknowledge my sins. I repent. I rely on grace. That is not hypocrisy. That is honesty.

On Forensic Work and False Accusations

Imagine being a forensic scientist, a criminal investigator, a psychologist working with offenders. Your job requires you to understand the minds of criminals. Does that make you a criminal? No.

Imagine being a teacher, a childcare worker, a parent. Your life involves caring for children. Does that make you a predator? No.

The operators' logic is that knowing about evil makes you evil. That awareness of perversion makes you perverse. That understanding wickedness makes you wicked.

This is absurd. It is also a tactic. They want to make anyone who sees them feel complicit, feel dirty, feel like they must be like them. I am not like them. Seeing evil does not make me evil. Knowing what they do does not make me one of them.

Conclusion

I am a sinner saved by grace. I am not a hypocrite. I do not pretend to be pure. I do not claim to be an angel. I claim only this: I belong to God. He knows me. He sees my heart. And His grace is sufficient.

Their accusations do not change that.

References & Notes

On Hypocrisy and Grace

  • Romans 3:23-24   "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, being justified as a gift by His grace through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus."

  • Ephesians 2:8-9   "For by grace you have been saved through faith; and this is not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not a result of works, so that no one may boast."

  • 1 John 1:8-9   "If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

On the First Being Last and the Last First

  • Matthew 19:30  "But many who are first will be last, and the last first."

  • Matthew 20:16  "So the last will be first, and the first last."

  • Mark 10:31  "But many who are first will be last, and the last first."

On Virtue in Ordinary Life

  • 1 Thessalonians 4:11   "Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you."

  • Micah 6:8   "He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?"

On Projection and False Accusations

Projection is a defence mechanism where individuals attribute their own unacceptable thoughts, feelings, or impulses to another person (Freud, 1896; Vaillant, 1992; Ego Mechanisms of Defense). The operators' accusations of hypocrisy reveal more about their own hypocrisy than about me.

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