March 21, Part 3: On Retaliation, Risk, and My Mother's Belief: The Shift That Changed Everything
The surveillance operators make it known that even as I write these things, I am "stealing" their ideas and thoughts. Some of them are infuriated that this is now public record. If something were to theoretically happen to me, I have already foreshadowed explanations of what they are attempting to do.
In the past few days since starting my blog and sharing my statement with officials, something shifted. My mother, who was previously exasperated and doubted me, has finally accepted many of my experiences and revelations. Yesterday, after showing her the glitches on my cell phone, which I captured through screen recordings, now making up concrete evidence she could see with her own eyes, and after she read my statement, she realized that I am not completely delusional. This has given her more faith, more certainty, more hope, realizing her daughter is not making things up, and that her suffering is not without documentation and reflection. Her belief in me means everything.
I have also told these experiences to close friends in real life who believe me, and to others I trust. I am not afraid of potential retaliation. I have generally accepted the risk of writing and exposing my experiences. Having my truth out here for others to see, if they are even interested, is better than having it hidden.
Why I Am Writing My Own Story
The surveillance individuals accuse me of enjoying this harassment. They call me a "freak." They try to make me feel guilty for things I do not support, do not stand for, and have never done. They operate under the cynical notion that "history is written by the winners." From their perspective, they believe they can shape any narrative they want.
They have already constructed a version of me that is complicit, neurodivergent in ways they deem problematic, prone to inappropriate humour, and fundamentally flawed in character. They highlight and exaggerate my worst moments, or fabricate them entirely, while erasing everything else about who I am.
On Those Who Take Credit for What Is Not Theirs
What is even more terrible is that now some of them are taking credit for me being alive and able to create this blog. Some of them are delusional and narcissistic enough to take credit for the miracles God provides me, for the intelligence, healing, and grace God provides me, for the true angels and so many decent people in my life in Canada who show me understanding, kindness, and love, as well as my actually decent, kind, understanding, and supportive parents, who have provided me comfort, hope, love, privacy, and protection in my life, to allow me to be where I am.
Some of these cult operators keep saying how they try to get me as one of them, hoping to take credit for the goodness God has provided me thus far, along with the good people in my life who actually care about me. Meanwhile, these creeps often try to make me turn away from the actual good people in my life, my church, my parents, my family, my actual friends, while calling me a neo-Nazi, antisemitic. This all seems crazy, I assure you, but these are things that are happening. You do not need to believe me, but at least I am saying what I am hearing as I hear these things from the surveillance operators.
On the Practical Steps I Am Taking
I have seen some of these people in real life, and some of them have made it known that they hope to obtain my body for research-related purposes after my death. I do not know how, but grave stealing and other such things are possible and have happened historically. I do not deny that all this seems delusional and narcissistic. Who would make themselves seem so important? But I am saying these things because these are things the operators have made known to me.
I also plan on writing a will and planning my funeral, it is not the norm, obviously, so that I can hope my body is taken care of the way I want it to be taken care of.
I refuse to let them write my story for me. While I still can, I am recording my own perspective.
Writing My Own Story
The surveillance operators make it known that even as I write these things, I am "stealing" their ideas and thoughts. Some of them are infuriated that this is now public record. If something were to theoretically happen to me, I have already foreshadowed explanations of what they are attempting to do.
Do I Feel Scared? Not Anymore.
In the past few days since starting my blog and sharing my statement with officials, something shifted. My mother, who was previously exasperated and doubted me, has finally accepted many of my experiences and revelations. Yesterday, after showing her the glitches on my cell phone, which I captured through screen recordings, now making up concrete evidence she could see with her own eyes, and after she read my statement, she realized that I am not completely delusional. This has given her more faith, more certainty, more hope, realizing her daughter is not making things up, and that her suffering is not without documentation and reflection. Her belief in me means everything.
I have also told these experiences to close friends in real life who believe me, and to others I trust. I am not afraid of potential retaliation. I have generally accepted the risk of writing and exposing my experiences. Having my truth out here for others to see, if they are even interested, is better than having it hidden.
Why I Am Writing My Own Story
The surveillance individuals accuse me of enjoying this harassment. They call me a "freak." They try to make me feel guilty for things I do not support, do not stand for, and have never done. They operate under the cynical notion that "history is written by the winners." From their perspective, they believe they can shape any narrative they want.
They have already constructed a version of me that is complicit, neurodivergent in ways they deem problematic, prone to inappropriate humour, and fundamentally flawed in character. They highlight and exaggerate my worst moments, or fabricate them entirely, while erasing everything else about who I am.
On Those Who Take Credit for What Is Not Theirs
What is even more terrible is that now some of them are taking credit for me being alive and able to create this blog. Some of them are delusional and narcissistic enough to take credit for the miracles God provides me, for the intelligence, healing, and grace God provides me, for the true angels and so many decent people in my life in Canada who show me understanding, kindness, and love, as well as my actually decent, kind, understanding, and supportive parents, who have provided me comfort, hope, love, privacy, and protection in my life, to allow me to be where I am.
Some of these cult operators keep saying how they try to get me as one of them, hoping to take credit for the goodness God has provided me thus far, along with the good people in my life who actually care about me. Meanwhile, these creeps often try to make me turn away from the actual good people in my life, my church, my parents, my family, my actual friends, while calling me a neo-Nazi, antisemitic. This all seems crazy, I assure you, but these are things that are happening. You do not need to believe me, but at least I am saying what I am hearing as I hear these things from the surveillance operators.
On the Practical Steps I Am Taking
I have seen some of these people in real life, and some of them have made it known that they hope to obtain my body for research-related purposes after my death. I do not know how, but grave stealing and other such things are possible and have happened historically. I do not deny that all this seems delusional and narcissistic. Who would make themselves seem so important? But I am saying these things because these are things the operators have made known to me.
I also plan on writing a will and planning my funeral, it is not the norm, obviously, so that I can hope my body is taken care of the way I want it to be taken care of.
I refuse to let them write my story for me. While I still can, I am recording my own perspective.
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