March 21, Part 1: Taking Back My Story: On Change, Growth, and What They Are Doing to Me
On Change, Growth, and the Work of God
I have started this blog to document my experiences as a targeted individual, telling my experiences and revelations in my own words. This matters because for the past several years, the surveillance individuals have been writing their own version of who I am, apparently as part of their history books, and their version, based on how they treat me, does not represent who I was, who I am, or who I hope God will transform me to be: someone humble, gentle, austere, joyful, and repentant.
People change over time, and I believe this is part of God's design for believers. Within Christianity, particularly in Eastern Orthodox tradition, believers are understood to be transformed into Christ's likeness through the work of the Holy Spirit, sanctified gradually, made more loving, more kind, more decent.
Even from a purely biological perspective, young people tend to be more fueled by hormones and emotion, more angsty, more ambitious, more energetic. The natural trajectory of aging is often characterized by emotional regulation; the turbulence of youth gives way to a settled disposition, and development is increasingly guided by love and the acceptance of physical limitations.
Research on healthy aging supports this pattern. The landmark Nun Study, a longitudinal examination of aging and Alzheimer's disease among the School Sisters of Notre Dame, demonstrated that sisters who expressed positive emotions and lived lives of devotion and purpose in their early adulthood were significantly less likely to develop Alzheimer's disease and lived longer than their counterparts.
Conversely, exposure to trauma, hatred, and violence — the very conditions these operators impose on me — is scientifically linked to accelerated cognitive decline and poorer health outcomes. On a spiritual level, it is even more insidious. For these surveillance people, who are clearly grounded in occult beliefs, their actions carry eternal consequences, divine judgment, calamity, and destruction in the real world.
On Accusations and Discernment
They sometimes accuse me these days of being a "demon" or "evil." But to this, as the Bible says, how can a demon open the eyes of the blind? My ability to articulate clearly and calmly these experiences, and to continue my life without being overly invested in thoughts that outsiders, lacking my knowledge and experiences, would call delusional, is my defense against being demonic.
"If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand... But no one can enter a strong man's house and plunder his goods, unless he first binds the strong man. And then he will plunder his house." (Mark 3:25–27)
"If Satan casts out Satan, he is divided against himself; how then will his kingdom stand?" (Matthew 12:26)
The logic is simple: evil does not undo evil. If I were demonic, I would not be exposing these abuses — I would be hiding them or engaging in them or doing it to other people in my shoes.
What the Surveillance Operators Are Doing
What some of these operators are doing is the opposite of healthy development. They are engaged in unethical, unnecessary, and harmful efforts aimed at provoking me to think and say hateful or negative things toward them and others. They then use those reactions, which they themselves provoked, to discredit me as a Christian and to justify further mistreatment.
They often accuse me of things I have never done, calling me terrible names and titles, while simultaneously berating and infantilizing me. Some of them openly state that their goal is to stupefy and diminish my abilities.
Their aim appears to be creating an artificial transformation — what they call a "switch" — where a normal, decent person is induced into a negative state of mind involving criminality, ethical collapse, or harmful behaviors. They describe this as a sudden transformation that some of them would then try to "lock in" using their technology, creating discomfort and trauma episodes they can trigger again and again to influence mental health, brain function, physiological well-being, and relationship to God. They hope these changes would make a person fall from grace or turn away from God.
This is Project Monarch by another name: the deliberate creation of a programmed, dissociative state through trauma-based mind control. Many of the operators are literally holding their breath hoping this switch happens, especially these days.
Remaining Grounded in Faith
These fears are met with my reliance on faith, through Scripture, through prayer, and through my relationship with Jesus Christ.
What they describe resembles what has historically been referred to as trauma-based psychological manipulation. Some of the operators appear intensely focused on this outcome, which is why it becomes all the more important to remain grounded in faith and truth.
It is evident what they are attempting to do. Enduring this requires immense self-control, forgiveness, forbearance, and patience. I give credit to Jesus Christ, who provides me with the strength, awareness, and healing necessary to continue.
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