A Statement on Behalf of My Mother
I am writing this section to speak on behalf of my mother. She has been deeply affected by everything that has happened, and I want to document her experience, her sacrifices, and the cruelty that the surveillance operators direct toward her.
Who My Mother Is
My mother immigrated to Canada with me when I was young. She came from a good, middle-income household in China. She worked hard to build a life for us. For many years, we were stable, middle-income. She worked proper office jobs. She raised me well, mostly on her own while my father worked in China to support us.
She is a private person. Introverted. Proud in the sense that she does not like asking for help, even when she needs it. She values dignity, respectability, not being looked down upon. She has worked tirelessly her entire life to provide for me and to give me a good upbringing.
And she did give me a good upbringing. I had no major traumas in my childhood. I was an average student with good grades. I had a handful of good girl friends whom I still keep in touch with. My parents supported me financially and emotionally. I was on a normal trajectory to have a normal, good life in Canada.
Her Strength and Her Righteousness
I want to be clear about something: my mother is not weak. She is not fragile. She is a strong, capable woman who has built a life across two continents.
In China, she has houses. She has estate. She has assets. She has family who love her, who support her, who would welcome her back. She could return to China and live comfortably. She could leave behind the struggles she faces here.
But she chooses to stay in Canada. She loves this country. She chose it for me, for the opportunities it offered, for the life we could build here. She believes in this country. She has invested decades of her life into being here. That is not weakness. That is conviction.
Most days, she is happy. She is decent. She is good-natured. She goes to work. She comes home. She watches her shows. She laughs with her friends. She lives her life. She is a kind woman, genuinely kind, not performatively. Gentle. Self-sacrificing. The kind of person who gives without expecting anything in return.
And here is something I need to say: from my perspective, my mother is more righteous and decent than I am. Truly. She is more gentle. More pure. More bright. More sunny. She is a better person than me in many ways. I am not saying this to put myself down, I am saying it because it is true. She has a goodness in her that is steady, consistent, unshakeable. She is the kind of person who makes the world brighter just by being in it.
I am grateful for her. She is not a victim. She is not helpless. She is a woman who has made choices, who has built a life, who has endured hardship and come through it. She has days of depression and anger, yes. She has moments of despair. But those are moments. They are not who she is. Who she is, is good. Is kind. Is righteous.
What I Have Done to Protect My Mother
I want to be very clear about something: I love my mother. I care about her safety. And I have taken concrete steps to protect her.
I have gone to the police multiple times. I have informed them of my concerns for my mother's safety. I have made it clear that the surveillance operators target her, that they try to destabilize her, that they fantasize about tragedy involving her.
I have informed psychologists and clinical psychologists of my concerns. I have told them what is happening. I have asked for help.
I have told people in our lives, friends, people we trust, about these realities. I am not hiding what is happening. I am not keeping her in the dark. I am building a network of people who know, who can help, who can support her if I cannot.
And I do not plan to stop. I plan to seek more help. Social services. Psychologists. Experts. Whatever it takes to protect her from these disgusting surveillance operators.
I have never wanted anything bad to happen to my mother. I have never wished her harm. I have never schemed against her. I love her.
What I Want People to Know
I want people to know that my mother is excellent. She is a hero.
She immigrated to a new country. She worked low-income jobs to support her daughter. She provided for me when no one else could. She stayed strong when things were hard. She is still working, still providing, still trying to hold our family together.
She is not the problem. The surveillance operators are the problem. They are the ones who try to destabilize her. They are the ones who hope she breaks.
I want people to know that she is more righteous and decent than I am. She is gentler. Purer. Brighter. Sunnier. She is a better person than me in many ways. And I am grateful for her for it.
I want people to know that she does not know everything. She does not understand what is happening to me. Her skepticism is not malice, it is ignorance. And the abusers exploit that ignorance.
I want people to know that I have done everything in my power to protect her. I have gone to the police. I have seen psychologists. I have told people in our lives. I have documented everything. I will continue to seek help, social services, experts, whatever it takes.
If you are reading this and you know my mother, or if you encounter her in any way: please be kind. She is carrying a burden she did not ask for. She is doing her best. She is not a failure. She is strong. She is loved. She is good. And she deserves to know that.
A Final Thought
My mother is not a perfect, but she is great. She is private. She does not like asking for help. She gets frustrated. She gets angry. She does not always understand what I am going through.
But she is my mother. She raised me. She provided for me. She worked jobs that broke her body to keep us afloat. She immigrated to a new country to give me a better life. She is still here, still working, still trying.
And I love her. I look up to her. I want to be more like her.
She is strong. She is good. She is kind. She is righteous. She is more righteous than me. And she will not be broken.
References & Notes
Clinical References
Herman, J. (1992) Trauma and Recovery: on the impact of trauma on family members and the secondary traumatization of loved ones.
Stark, E. (2007) Coercive Control: on how abusers target family relationships and exploit family dynamics.
Pathé, M. & Mullen, P. (1997) The Impact of Stalking on Mental Health: on the ripple effects of stalking and harassment on family members.
Biblical References
Proverbs 31:28 "Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also, and he praises her."
Exodus 20:12 "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you."
Isaiah 54:17 "No weapon that is formed against you will succeed."
Psalm 27:1 "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?"
Psalm 34:17–18 "The Lord hears the cry of the righteous and is near to the brokenhearted."
Philippians 4:8 "Whatever is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, praiseworthy, think about these things."
Romans 12:9 "Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good."
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